Baby, Please Stay

Baby, I know we've had a fight,
It's kept me awake, tossing and turning all night.
Boo, I know we'll pull through,
Because our future is in perfect view.

I cannot imagine you stepping out of life,
Just the thought cuts like a knife.
It would hurt me so much,
If I never again felt your sweet touch.

I know our relationship has so much potential,
Kindness and true love are essential.
I know everyone makes mistakes,
But that's no reason for our relationship to break.

If we are humble and not selfish,
There isn't a thing we can't accomplish.
If we work together,
I know we'll make it better.

If we grasp onto our love and believe,
It will only grow stronger and never leave.
So, Baby, promise me when a fight comes our way,
You won't leave me... Baby, please stay.

i'm sorry

I’m sorry for ever saying the words "I love you"
I’m sorry that you said "I love you too"

I’m sorry I told you we would always be together
I’m sorry you said "always and forever"

I’m sorry I didn’t know it would turn out this way
I’m sorry I let my sunshine turn so grey

I’m sorry that I loved your touch
I’m sorry I didn’t know I would miss you this much

i went out with my kor kor today..went to westmall cuz we stay around there mahz..we were supposed to meet at 1.30pm. i got there 5 mins earlier..sho i juz look around the fair outside the entrance to westmall..found some cd..not bad sia..hahaha...den later my kor came le..den we go burger king to have lunch..he treat me worx..hahahhaz..after that we went to buy tickets for anna in kung-fu land..it's at 3.45pm..then kor bought a necklace for me..christmas mahz..lol..never prepare for him..feel sho bad sia..but he say nvm de lahz..i like the present can liaoz..hahahhaz..den later we spent our time at coffee bean after buying the necklace...cuz westmall also nothing to shop de..hahahah...den after that..went back to coffee bean again..cuz it's like 5+ lo..still early mahz..sho sit down and chat..until 7 den go home.

the show ar..not bad lahz..quite furni..den got abit of romance la..but more comedy comedy kind de..hahaahz..

that's all lahz..also nth to say liaoz...bye~

today ar today..nth much lo..slept at around 7am this morning and woke up at 11am..3 hrs of sleep..that's all i have for today..madness rite...anyway, i went online during the afternoon and played gunbound with my friends and stuff..unti like 4+ den went to bathe cuz coming over to relative's house. we went for dinner first after that then took a cab to here lo..st. george road..got here around 6?? den watched tv and stuff..and come online..now lo..aiya..boring day lahz...what to do..school holiday mahz...sianz~
also donno what time going home later..go home bathe den what..online again lahz..ar den..den also donno stay until what time..hahahaz...i think today better sleep early sia..if not sure cannot tahan..
ok lahz..that's all liaoz..byebye........

How Could You?

How could you?
When I trusted you so!
They tried to warn me,
but my heart simply said, "No."

How could you?
I didn't think you would.
They tell me to end it,
in my mind I know I should.

How could you?
When you know I can't say good-bye!
They told me you cheated,
so why did you have to lie?

Chances Are

Chances are, we’ll never meet
And I’ll never kiss your face.
Chances are, I’ll never feel
Your lips or warm embrace.

Chances are, only in my dreams
I’ll feel the softness of your hair.
Chances are, I’ll never smell
Any fragrance you might wear.

Chances are, you’re among
The many that I see.
Chances are, I’ve glanced at you
Perhaps you’ve even looked at me.

Chances are, you danced with him
So, I admired you from afar.
Chances are, late that night
I wished for you upon a star.

Chances are, you live in my head
Because I’ve dreamed you for so long.
Chances are, you don’t exist
But I pray to God I’m wrong...

HOHOHO!! MeRrY ChRiStMaS!!!

Merry Christmas!!! HOHOHO!! LoLx~~ yeapz, today's christmas. yesterday night, my dad and i went to aunt joanne's house for dinner. it's juz a simple one lo.. but before that, we went to cold storage at woodlands to buy christmas gifts. i bought chocolates. half of them are fiilled with others, the other half are ordinary ones. both are nice..hee..den dad bought a bottle of white wine lo..after that, we went straight to her house. den later uncle Brandon and uncle Nick also came. we waited for them then we had dinner. the turkey ish fab. joanne's mother reared it herself and stuff like that. it's totally different from the ones selling outside, ya know, they're so dry and stuff like that, but the one we had ish so juicy and nice. LoLx..

after that we watched tv, etc, and we drank wine. yes, wine. dad allowed me to, anyway, even though i'm still underaged..anywayz, the first bottle was sho nice. it's red wine mixed with brandy. i heard that it's abt $300+...very expensive, isn't it?? and it's like 20 yrs old?? something like that..WoW!! it's sho different from the red wines i've tasted before..LoL..den later she opened the white wine which daddy bought earlier..didn't drink alot lo..only a few glasses..den later, uncle brandon striked 4-D..HaHaHa~~den abt 1+am, we went home le lo. uncle brandon bought bee hoon frm the coffee shop below..sho much sia~ LoLx..for my dad and uncle nick, packet de of course..coz we very full le..LoLx..

got home bathe..den came here..sianz..that's all..byebye.

WeNt OuT AgAiN~~LoL~~

this morning dad called me..asked me go watch movie..furni lehz..he don need to work meh?? LoL~cuz his supervisor saw his face very white mahz..den ask him go see doc, take jab lo..HaHa~den he came back home and then we went out again..went for lunch first..i bought duck rice, but cannot finish..donno why..only ate like..1/3 ba..den cannot eat le..sighx~~after that, we went to Lido and watch Lord of the Rings (dad has bought the tickets earlier n we didn't watch it yesterday).

the show very nice worx~~!!! my fav. series indeed~!! HeEx~~watched until around 6 like that..den took bus no. 16 go katong mall lo..met mommy in the bus..sho qiao worx~~ LoL~~den alighted at the same bus-stop cuz mother going for a hair-cut..-.-"" sighx..i was late for the class again..SiAn~~~~~~~~~~~

after lesson, we got one sensei frm malaysia..very humble de..hehe..7th dan de worx~~even higher den sensei chee~~he showed us some techniques and stuff like that lo..after that, we went opposite (same coffee shop) for dinner..sam and is shared a plate of mee goreng..i cannot finish mahz..sighx..donno lehz..appetite not very gd nowadays~~sighx...

heartbroke!!

If only you knew the pain you have caused,
it feels like I'm rewinding and stopping on 'pause.'

If only you could see, after all these years,
that all you brought me is nothing but tears.

I was stupid to think, I was stupid to believe,
that you really cared or you ever loved me.

I was happy for most of the time we shared,
but I finally found out that you never even cared.

I thought I loved right from the start,
then you left and you took away my heart.

I guess everything we had and shared was a big joke?
But not to me... because now I'm heartbroke!!

OMG~~my dad's SiCK~~!!!

sighx~~today daddy didn't go for work..sick le...sighx..take care worx, dad!! but ar..he came back frm doc, ask me go out see movie...Lord of the Rings.

-.-""" of cuz lahz..he's illness not fake de..wellz..i told him i need a new pair of track shoes..urgently.. shown him my old pair..really going to tear le..sighx..sho wasted...it's kinda my fav. one, ya know..sighx~~

got to queensway at 3+pm..den went for shoes and jacket hunting..found my shoes, and bought them.last pair sia..LoLx..always like that.HaHaHa..but jacket?? nahz..don really have much luck..found the color i like but don't have my size..sho sad~~!! sighx~ nut nvm, at least got my shoes..HeEx~~

after shopping, dad and i were actually planning to watch night movie..but my dad isn't feeling too gd..sho i flagged a cab and sent us home..helped dad back home, and went opposite to get something for dad to eat..

sighx..daddy tmr's going back for work le..donno can or not..he vomitted juz now worx..i'm sho worried...

sian sia..slept at what..4am den woke up at 7.30am..CrAzY~~~meeting ling fong senpai at 9.30am at bukit gombak mrt platform then go to pasir ris whitesand..got demo there mahz..martial arts de. met up with yee kai and li han..den we watched until like 11am, den went for makan lo..mac..SiAn~~
den later, after that, i think others all went home..left yee kai, li han and me..we went to bugis junction hang out lo..went to the arcade see how yee kai fa hui his talent..LoLx..hahahaz..on the cars de..hahaha...den later i watched them play lo..later that, we went to Roy's Hobby. li han bought a tank..he rich mahz..LoL~~after that we went home lo..hahahaz..
got home..bathe..den came here..tired la..don wan to talk le..nitez~!!

Missing You

We were the perfect couple,
Anyone could see
We were so much in love
Or, what I thought to be

But after awhile
I lost what I had
I'm not sure you knew
But i felt really bad

It went on
Time and again
Me being out
And me being in

But, now that it's done
And all of it's through
I never would have thought
But, I'm the one missing you

YoShX~~ i'm sho tired!!! LoLx...yeapz, went to da yi's house today..hahaz..sho long never go le..really forget how to...LOLX....but anyway, stil managed to get to my distination with some help from da yi and jie.HaHaHa..

anyway, got there, den da yi helped everyone to buy lunch..den kor and i watched Infernal Affairs II. not bad lahz actually..lolx..den later we talked and talked..abt lotsa things lahz..den at 5.30pm, left their house and waited for 76 to marine parade.

sighx..rain..what a heavy one..i didn't bring an umbrella..so forget it..i walked in the rain..ok lahz..u can say i'm crazy or what..but muz enjoy the rain right..hahaz..den got to the class..wet..frm head to toe..LoLx..cold sia..but the feelin quite nice lehz..hahahaz..den later i got there..den i know our class starts at 8pm cos 7pm ish for beginners de..diaoz~ but nvm, early ish better than late, somemore, yee kai, li han, all of them were there too..sho no problem..HaHaHa..of cuz..my bro also there mahz..lolx..den later, donno why ar..feel like puking..sighx..first 2 times, nth came out, den later all the food came out..den better liaoz..on of the seniors said should be indigestion..wellz..maybe ba..sighz..skipped the warm-up again..sianz...donno..maybe eat the wrong food..cuz always like that de..sighx..

den after class, most of us stayed back to try our gingowaza (i think that's how it spelt..lazy to check..heez) anyway, den try and play until i think 9.30+ den we go opp. makan. sam and i ate tau gua bau. it's like the beancurd was filled with stuffings inside. not bad lahz..den i ate most of it..den don wan le..aiya..u vomitted out all the food..how to eat sho much..den sam ate halfway don wan..cuz very hard to eat with braces..sam ar..no choice lahz..have to get used to it. jia you worx!! den later sam watched me and ling fong senpai got onto the bus den went home.

roughly like that for today lo..nth special lahz actually..maybe tues. go shirley's house..hahax..nite.

Have Faith In JESUS

Please read the entire story and follow the directions. It will bless you.

In the city of Chicago, one cold, dark night, a blizzard was setting in. A little boy was selling newspapers on the corner, the people were in and out of the cold. The little boy was so cold that he wasn't trying to sell many papers.

He walked up to a policeman and said, "Mister, you wouldn't happen to know where a poor boy could find a warm place to sleep tonight would you? You see, I sleep in a box up around the corner there and down the alley and it's awful cold in there for tonight. Sure would be nice to have a warm place to stay."

The policeman looked down at the little boy and said, "You go down the street to that big white house and you knock on the door. When they come out the door you just say John 3:16, and they will let you in."

So he did. He walked up the steps and knocked on the door, and a lady answered.

He looked up and said, "John 3:16."
The lady said, "Come on in, Son." She took him in and she sat him down in a split bottom rocker in front of a great big old fireplace, and she went off. The boy sat there for a while and thought to himself: John 3:16.. I don't understand it, but it sure makes a cold boy warm.

Later she came back and asked him "Are you hungry?"

He said, "Well, just a little. I haven't eaten in a couple of days, and I guess I could stand a little bit of food." The lady took him in the kitchen and sat him down to a table full of wonderful food. He ate and ate until he couldn't eat any more. Then he thought to himself: John 3:16... Boy, I sure don't understand it but it sure makes a hungry boy full.

She took him upstairs to a bathroom to a huge bathtub filled with warm water, and he sat there and soaked for a while. As he soaked, he thought to himself: John 3:16... I sure don't understand it, but it sure makes a dirty boy clean. You know, I've not had a bath, a real bath, in my whole life. The only bath I ever had was when I stood in front of that big old fire hydrant as they flushed it out.

The lady came in and got him. She took him to a room, tucked him into a big old feather bed, pulled the covers up around his neck, kissed him goodnight and turned out the lights. As he lay in the darkness and looked out the window at the snow coming down on that cold night, he thought to himself: John 3:16... I don't understand it but it sure makes a tired boy rest.

The next morning the lady came back up and took him down again to that same big table full of food.

After he ate, she took him back to that same big old split bottom rocker in front of the fireplace and picked up a big old Bible. She sat down in front of him and looked into his young face.

"Do you understand John 3:16?" she asked gently.

He replied, "No, Ma'am, I don't. The first time I ever heard it was last night when the policeman told me to use it."

She opened the Bible to John 3:16 and began to explain to him about Jesus. Right there, in front of that big old fireplace, he gave his heart and life to Jesus. He sat there and thought: John 3:16... I don't understand it, but it sure makes a lost boy feel safe.

You know, I have to confess I don't understand it either, how God was willing to send His Son to die for me, and how Jesus would agree to do such a thing. I don't understand the agony of the Father and every angel in heaven as they watched Jesus suffer and die. I don't understand the intense love for ME that kept Jesus on the cross till the end. I don't understand it, but it sure does make life worth living.

John 3:16



For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.


If you aren't ashamed to do this, please follow the directions.

Jesus said,

"If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father."

Pass this on only if you mean it. I do Love God. He is my source of existence. He keeps me functioning each and every day.

Phil 4:13

If you love God and are not ashamed of all the marvelous things he has done for you, send this on.

WHEN YOU ARE LONELY, I WISH YOU LOVE

WHEN YOU ARE DOWN, I WISH YOU JOY

WHEN THINGS GET COMPLICATED, I WISH YOU FAITH

Sow a thought, reap an act.
Sow an act, reap a habit.
Sow a habit, reap a character.
Sow a character, reap a destiny......

Who is Jesus?

The Bible, from cover to cover, addresses the question, "Who is this Jesus?"

Consider the themes of the sixty-six books:
In Genesis, He is the creator God.
In Exodus, He is the redeemer.
In Leviticus, He is your sanctification.
In Numbers, He is your guide.
In Deuteronomy, He is your teacher.
In Joshua, He is the mighty conqueror.
In Judges, He gives victory over enemies.
In Ruth, He is your kinsman, your lover, your redeemer.
In Ist Samuel, He is the root of Jesse.
In 2nd Samuel, He is the son of David.
In 1st Kings and 2nd Kings, He is King of kings and Lord of lords.
In 1st and 2nd Chronicles, He is your intercessor and high priest.
In Ezra, He is your temple, your house of worship.
In Nehemiah, He is your mighty wall, protecting you from your enemies.
In Esther, He stands in the gap to deliver you from your enemies.
In Job, He is the arbitrator who not only understands your struggles, but
has the power to do something about them.
In Psalms, He is your song and your reason to sing.
In Proverbs, He is your wisdom, helping you make sense of life and live it
successfully.
In Ecclesiastes, He is your purpose, delivering you from vanity.
In the Song of Solomon, He is your lover, your rose of Sharon.
In Isaiah, He is the mighty counselor, the prince of peace, the everlasting
father, and more. In short, He's everything you need.
In Jeremiah, He is your balm of Gilead, the soothing salve for your sin-sick
soul.
In Lamentations, He is the ever-faithful one upon whom you can depend.
In Ezekiel, He is your wheel in the middle of a wheel, the one who assures
that dry, dead bones will come alive again.
In Daniel, He is the ancient of days, the everlasting God who never runs out
of time.
In Hosea, He is your faithful lover, always beckoning you to come back, even
when you have abandoned Him.
In Joel, He is your refuge, keeping you safe in times of trouble.
In Amos, He is the husbandman, the one you can depend on to stay by your
side.
In Obadiah, He is Lord of the kingdom.
In Jonah, He is your salvation, bringing you back within His will.
In Micah, He is judge of the nation.
In Nahum, He is the jealous God.
In Habakkuk, He is the Holy One.
In Zephaniah, He is the witness.
In Haggai, He overthrows the enemies.
In Zechariah, He is Lord of Hosts.
In Malachi, He is the Lord who does not change.

In Matthew, He is King of the Jews.
In Mark, He is the servant.
In Luke, He is the Son of Man, feeling what you feel.
In John, He is the Son of God.
In Acts, He is savior of the world.
In Romans, He is the righteousness of God.
In 1st Corinthians, He is the rock that followed Israel.
In 2nd Corinthians, He is the triumphant one, giving victory.
In Galatians, He is your liberty; He sets you free.
In Ephesians, He is head of the church.
In Philippians, He is your joy.
In Colossians, He is your completeness.
In 1st Thessalonians, He is your hope.
In 2nd Thessalonians, He is the Lord of peace.
In 1st Timothy, He is your faith.
In 2nd Timothy, He is your stability.
In Titus, He is our great God and Savior.
In Philemon, He is your benefactor.
In Hebrews, He is your perfection.
In James, He is the power behind your faith.
In 1st Peter, He is your example.
In 2nd Peter, He is your purity.
In 1st John, He is your life.
In 2nd John, He is your pattern.
In 3rd John, He is your motivation.
In Jude, He is the foundation of your faith.
In the Revelation, He is your coming king.

From the beginning of the world to its end, there is no place you can look
and not see Jesus.
He is everywhere. He is everything.
"He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together."
--(Colossians 1:17)

HaPPy BiRtHdAy!!! TuN HoW KoR!!!

ToDaY iSh TuN hOw'S kOr BiRtHdAy!! HaPPy BiRtHdAy, KoR!!

today arz..u know lahz..went out with Shirley..hee...we went to the Body World exhibition at 10am..WoW!! GrEaT ExPiReNcE!! LoLx..den after that, we went to Bugis have neo-cards taken, den went to hougang mall, Sake Sushi. LoLx..den went to ah ma's house lox..ermz..wellz..saw my mom there, and her daughter. ok lahz..she has put on quite alota weight..housewife mahz..not working anymore..nth much actually..

after that, took a bus to marine parade..of course..i was late..very late, in fact..around 15 to 20 mins..OMG!! but never mind, better than i didn't go at all..heez...den after my class, went to the gym inside, den go makan lo..shared with sam..frm one plate..but also didn't finish..sighx..donno lahz..

den took bus no. 16 with ling fong senpai and edwin, and alighted in front of a bar..edwin took bus no. 167, senpai took donno which bus back to bukit butok. i ask them to go ar..cuz 190 very long one..i'm supposed to meet ji xian to return my cd..but maybe he sleep le..cuz sms him..never reply..HaHaHa..den got home..bathe..watch abit of tv..and came here lo..

actually nth special lahz..abt the body exhibition..next time den i write more detailed lo..abite tired liaoz..gd nite..

YOzZiE!!! hEe..ok lahz..i admit..i'm abit out of my mind today..why?? cuz.tmr..ish the day!!! what day, you may ask. wellz..will be going with my sister, shirley, tmr!! YeAh!! aiya..miss her sshhooo much!! sho long never see her le..sighx..but tmr can see her liaoz..hehe..

anyway, nth special today lo..keke..juz playing some boring games..wellz..life's bored, that's why..hahaz..ok lahz..i'm really mad..MADNESS!!!!!!!!!!

that's all..ja ne!!

Contributed by Benedict Ho

More than silver more than gold

Your fragile heart in my hand I hold

If it has to be like this let it be

Fret not you can depend on me

Our happy times together I will recall

Days of sorrow shall be no more

You have stared at death right in the eye

I know you pushed I know you tried

The vicious cycle takes a full turn

Now it haunts you and wants to burn

My heart ignites with passion for only you

By now you know my love is true

Even at the brink of death or in the darkness

I will be you light of life for you to harness

As the tides of doom ride closer

Another day beckons; will this last forever?

didn't do much today..except until 6pm..wellz..should be 7 cuz sharon (my dgl) postponed the time back to 7pm. we had our bible study at B.K., causeway point..lolz..i love B.K. the food is nice, cheap and reasonable, and healthy among all the fast food restaurant. den we went through stuff and stuff.

afther that, we went shopping at causeway..U2, metro, bossini, etc. wellz..she chose a whitre skirt for me to try on..cuz ladies have to wear all white, frm top to bottom..somemore have to be either dress or skirt..sighz..don feel like going already..

wellz..anyway, we were like shop shop until 9.05pm den i took mrt and she took a bus, and we went home. yeapz..sho that's how i spent my whole day loz..hahaz...

yeaz..sho got home..watch band of brothers on channel 5, den carry on the SEA games closing ceremony..and came online while watching tv, until now..heez..yea..kinda boring day today..as in..nth to do?? lolz..

yeaz..that's all..wellz..my buddy feeling down today..something happened..sighz..dear ar dear, cheer up, yea?? don be sho sad la..tmr will be a better day. =)

funny..funny...not as in funny funny but as in weird funny..no idea..these few days my mind's filled up with poems and poems..juz gotta write them down..keke...
sho happy today..juz now was talking with my fren through msn, he said his wish came true le..lol..that ish he finally got the gurl that he like SHO MUCH to agree to be his girlfriend on 28th nov. haha..congratz, fren!! lolz..wellz, can't say his name here..keke..
wellz..these days alot of my frens wasn't really have a gd time in relationships..but now, at least one of them has one, and is with the girl he likes. LoLz..yea..very happy for them..
wellz..that's all for today..gotta run now. byebye!!

Only Me

I wanted to be the only one
when better came to worse
To comfort and love you
when you were sad- I wanted to be the first
No one else but me,
I wanted you all for my own
To have you for myself was an unmet desire,
if only I could have known

I wanted to be the only one
to hold your hand in mine
To give you love as well as take
but there wasn't any to find
I thought you loved me back, of course,
but that thought was mistaken
To who else would your heart have gone,
who else's heart have you taken?

I wanted to be the only one
you cared so deeply for
But you were 'hers' as well as mine
but only she... was yours

Breathe Me

Breathe me with your deepest eyes
So you'll feel what's inside my heart,
So you'll see there are no lies,
So you'll know I loved you from the start.

Breathe me with your sweetest smile
As your smile can cheer a thousand souls,
As your smile renders me senseless, like a child,
As your smile keeps me smiling a thousand fold.

Breathe me with your caring touch
For without it, my wounds would never heal;
For without it, my pain would hurt too much;
For without it, I would never again learn to feel.

Breathe me with your gentle kiss
To taste the conviction of my love for you,
To taste the joy of my soul in bliss,
To keep me there inside of you.

What You Lost When You Lost Me

You said it was the end,
I would still be your best friend,
But when you said that, my heart broke in two.
One half still wanted and needed you,
The other half was thinking of how stupid you were.
You lost so much- of that I am sure.

You lost my trust, my pride and my love.
You lost your angel sent from above.
You lost a friend and a lover,
Who loved you and no other.

You broke my heart
but the truth will have to be,
That I know you still love and care for me.

Don't worry- I still care,
But give my heart to you again?
..I wouldn't dare!

A Touching Christmas Story (By: Roger Hamilton)

On the last day before Christmas, I hurried to go to the supermarket
to buy the gifts I didn't manage to buy earlier. When I saw all the
people there, I started to complain to myself: 'It is going to take
forever here and I still have so many other places to go...'

Christmas really is getting more and more annoying every year.
How I wish I could just lie down, go to sleep and only wake up after
it. Nonetheless, I made my way to the toy section, and there I
started to curse the prices, wondering if kids really play with such
expensive toys.
While looking in the toy section, I noticed a small boy of about 5 years old, pressing a doll against his chest.
He kept on touching the hair of the doll and looked so sad. I
wondered who this doll was for.

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: 'Granny,
are you sure I don't have enough money?'
The old lady replied: 'You know that you don't have enough money
to buy this doll, my dear.'
Then she asked him to stay here for 5 minutes while she went to
look around. She left quickly.
The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.
Finally, I started to walk towards him and asked who he wanted to
give this doll to.
'It is the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for this
Christmas. She was so sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus will bring it to her, after
all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa
Claus can not bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to
my mother so that she can give it to her when she goes there.' His
eyes were so sad while saying this.

'My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy say that Mummy will
also go to see God very soon, so I thought that she could bring the
doll with her to give it to my sister'.


My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mummy
not to go yet. I asked him to wait until I come back from the
supermarket'
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was
laughing. He then told me: 'I also want mummy to take this photo
with her so that she will not forget me.'

I love my mummy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me but
daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister'
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and took a few notes and said to the
boy. 'What if we checked again, just in case if u have enough
money?'

'Ok' he said. 'I hope that I have enough.'
I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we
started to count it. There was enough for the doll, and even some
spare money.
The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money'
then he looked at me and added: 'I asked yesterday before I slept
for God to make sure I have enough money to buy this doll so that
mummy can give it to my sister. He heard me' 'I also wanted to
have enough money to buy a white rose for my mummy, but I didn't
dare to ask God too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll
and the white rose.'

'You know, my mummy loves white rose'

A few minutes later, the old lady came again and I left with my
trolley. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from whenI
started.
I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a
local newspaper article 2 days ago, which mentioned of a drunk
man in a truck who hit a car where there was one young lady and a
little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a
critical state.The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on
the life-assisting machine, because the young lady would not be
able to get out of the coma.
Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the
newspaper that the young lady had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself and went to buy a bunch of white roses and I
went to the mortuary where the body of the young woman was
exposed for people to see and make last wish before burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her
hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her
chest. I left the place crying, feeling that my life had been
changedforever.
The love that this little boy had for his mother and his sister is
still, to that day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a
second, a
drunk man had taken all this away from him.

haha..yesterday went for the ju-jitsu x'mas event at phoenix hotel..christmas still gotta long way man..sho early..hahaz..but nvm, FUN sia...lolx..we ate..danced..lucky draw..games..blahz blahz..den when the deejay played that ketcup song, only me, sam, and alip danced. that's why we got the dance gift. haha..sad my brother missed the fun..but nvm..still got chance de!!

den later, met up with daddy and uncle brandon inside the train..he called me say the train coming..so tell me to board..and blahz blahz..like that lo...and got home at 12am..who ask daddy so slow..always like that one..sighz..get used to it already...

that's all for today..ja ne!! lolz..bro..not copying u ar..hahahz...

Another Dream

Last night I saw you in my dream
and you were going away
I didn't get to say good-bye
or even get to say...
The things I would have liked to..
or tell you that I care
I guess it didn't matter much
'cuz you never were aware..
That I even loved you
within this time and space...
But, in my dream it was a different time
and it was a different place

You were gone so long and I
never knew where you were
But, then one day the phone rang, and
you said, "Hi, It's me, I'm here"
I asked, "who is this?" and you said
"yes, it's really me...
Just look outside your window..
take a look and see."
There you were... just standing there
a smile upon your face
I couldn't believe you were there
right outside my place

I didn't say a word
but, I slowly put down the phone...
And anxiously walked over to you
and then we were alone
Your arms around me holding tight,
holding me so near
I couldn't believe this was happening
then you whispered in my ear
You said you've always loved me
and forever you'd be here.
And then I woke up crying
my pillow... wet from tears

*yawnz* juz got back home frm ju-jitsu..ok..i wasn't at my peak today..tired and my soles hurt..think blisters coming..*arghz* oh whatever..anyway, there's nothing much to say anyway..sam didn't go for it cuz he went to the dental this morning to pluck out two of his wonderful teeth frm the upper row..yes, it's wonderful, cuz it's no decay or what..anyway, i think on this coming friday, he's gonna have 2 more of his teeth pluck out frm the bottom row..hahaz..i'm not laughing at his mis-fortune..wellz..that what he had to bear for wearing braces..i'm wearing in the future, so i'll also have to bear..lolz..

anyway, that's about all..sigh..got nothing to say more..so tata!!

Haha... Enjoyed it?? I bet...

When Ms Woo was on her way to her class, 2E5, she noticed the intolerable noise they have made. Thus, she decided to confront those who were misbehaving.

Ms Woo: How many times do I need to tell you, DON'CH BE SO NOISY especially when the teacher's not in class?? Who was the one who make so much noise?! You better stand up before everyone gets it.

Felix: "Will the Real Slim Shady Please Stand Up, Please Stand Up, Please Stand Up..." (Eminem)

Ms Woo: You again!! Can you DON'CH PRAY A FOOL??

Felix: "Can't believe I'm the Fool again~" (Westlife)

Ms Woo: Do you want me to beat you??

Class: "Hit me Baby One More Time!" (Britney)

Ms Woo: What did u say??

Eugene: "WHAT?!" (Stone Cold)

Ms Woo: Are you out of your head??

Kai Ying: "I can't Get you Outta my Head~" (Kylie Minogue)

Ms Woo: Who do you think you are??

Eugene: "I'm a Genie in a Bottle~" (Christina Aguilera)

Ms Woo: DON'CH BE RUDE!! How many F9s do you all want??

Class: "1, 2, 345, Everybody in the House, so Come'on let 's Ride.." (Lou Bega)

Ms Woo: Do you all have to do this?? What else you all do?!

Class: "Sometimes I run, Sometimes I hide..." (Britney)

Ms Woo: Do you all think this is a party??

Class: "I'm Coming Up so you Better Get the Party Started!" (Pink)

Ms Woo: I want all of you to go for detention tomorrow morning!!

Class: "Every Morning they're a Hello..." (Sugar Ray)

Ms Woo: No!! I want everyone of you to go for detention EVERYDAY!!

Class: "Everyday I Love You~" (Boyzone)

Ms Woo: Felix, Eugene and Kai Ying!! You 3 come alone and see me after school!!

Eugene: "Show me the Meaning, of Being Lonely" (BSB)

Ms Woo: Okay Eugene!! Now only you have to come and see me personally!! Felix and Kai Ying need not!! It's gonna be only 2 of us!!

Eugene: "Just the Two of Us..." (Will Smith)

Ms Woo: Do you want to SHUTTUP before I bring you to Mr Fauzi??

Class: "You Say it Best, when you Say Nothing At All..." (Ronan Keating)

Ms Woo: I want all of you to promise not to give me anymore trouble!!

Class: "This I Promise You... Woo~ I Promise You..." (*NSYNC)

Ms Woo: Make sure you all DON'CH give me trouble again!!

Class: "Oops!! I Did it Again!!" (Britney)

Ms Woo: DON'CH BE RUDE AR!!

Kai Ying: "There she Goes... There she Goes Again~" (Sixpence None The Richer)

Ms Woo: I'm leaving now!!

Class: "BYE BYE BYE!!" (*NSYNC)

RED CROSS WEST DISTRICT NCO CAMP 2003

got back frm my camp today..red cross west district nco camp 2003...tiring..haha..but fun. on monday, i woke up at 6.30am cuz we need to report at red cross campsite by 9am. and since the journey was like..1-1 1/2 hr, so have to wake up early..

DAY 1

got to campsite and chatted with some of the friends as there's still some time left. we fall in in groups at 9am. shi wei ma'am asked for a day-i/c..i looked around..no one voluteer..then i juz volunteer.no idea why..kekeke..maybe cuz if no one volunteer..donno how long we have to stand in the parade square..so ermz..i volunteered..and took attendance..more than 1 hr...why?? cuz the number of cadets isn't the same..how come?? cos one of the cadets came late..so his name wasn't mark..den 2 of the 3 cadets frm AES, said that their teacher-in-charge didn't send in their names for the camp. ok that's fine. what's next?? the number still different..why?? cos of one cadet..also frm AES..his name wasn't send for the camp, and he said his name was sent..urgh!! have to do the total strength and present strength whole lotsa times!! sigh..we unpacked our stuff frm our bags and placed them nicely on our left and checked that we brought everything on the list..muz the instructors do that?? urghz...waste time...as if we need to bring 3 t-shirts for a 3-day, 2-night camp..i mean it's fine the camp is longer and i only used 1 t-shirt from what i've brought..-.-" wast my energy and time...and my washing powder and everything..

after that, we went to our bunks and cleaned them up..wiped the windows and the beds..and covered the matresses with bedsheets and pillow cases for the pillow (DUHZ!!) lolz..then had an emergency exercise..we ewnt all over the campsite serching for casualties..had 3 alive and 3 dead..too long to say abt it so i shall skip that..then i've got to choose a new day i/c..heez..one of the sirs asked why.. erz...wellz..the camp overall-i/c and 2nd overall-i/c were also frm ndp this yr..so dorlisa ma'am, the o i/c, told him that during ndp, Benedict and i were always in charge of everything..hee.. so i think she said she is tired of me being i/c everytime..i heard it then i was like controlling my laughter and she saw that..cause she told him," she also know that herself cuz she's laughing away.." keke..then i chose Wei Kiat, frm my former group, to be the day i/c..keke..is it counted as sabotage?? wellz, anyway, juz feel happy for him and myself too, of course..cuz my back hurts..i donno..fell down a few days ago..on the same spot of my back..sigh..

we had lunch after that evac thingy. rice, steamed chicken and soup. one word: NICE!! except for the rice..cos it was hard..wellz..at least the instructors were nice to cook for us..isn't it?? had footdrill lesson, outdoor activities lesson after that. we were taught on how to read map and use a compass and stuff..quite fun, actually. finally, we had our dinner. again, instructors cooked for us. THANK YOU, INSTRUCTORS!! and then it was game time and evac lesson. wellz, not really an evac lesson but it's like brushing up on human-stretcher method, using a stretcher and we were taught on how to use a so-called portable stretcher. after that, we were shown on how to operate the bed or stretcher (whatever you called it..forgotten the name..) in the ambulanceand stuff like that until 10+ and had our supper..green bean soup..which tasted erz..horribly..it's fine but too guey..so when it's thick then it's kinda disgusting?? whateva..anyway, after that, we had OTOT (own time, own target) until 11pm, i think.. lights out.

DAY 2

we fall in at 6am and had PT for don't know how long and waited for around 1 hr until 8am for our breakfast-porridge and milo..nice..heez...then we had lesson regarding our aim and stuff for our unit, and were taught on how to plan for a 30-week sessions for different stuff like outdoor activites, footdrill, and lotsa stuff. and had footdrill after that followed by footdrill theory about the parade procedures and commands. after that, we packed our belongings back to our harvest sack and cleaned the area that we have to. it's around 7-8pm when we set off for east coast park for bbq..we brought all our belongings and walked for 2 1/2 hr..why?? cos we seemed to have walk the long route instead of the shorter route..plus we have walk the wrong ones afew times..anyway, if we take the shorter one, we would reach there abt 1/2 to 1hr..and we had bbq for dinner..it's already 10 plus..we stayed around till 2am and shouted our cheer and set off for the bridge to catch the sunrise. unfortunately, i heard from others that there's a construction going so they can't make it. instead they hiked to stadium and then to red cross hq. sad..i can't finished the whole hike..cuz the bottom of my spine hurtz..same place as before..and it affects my walking..OUCH!!! so i was like..in the ambulance..sigh..sad sad..den later there were more casualties..around 3 more..the ambulance was filled with bags, bags and more bags after a while. i think they took a bus, that's why, all the way to hq. we got there at 6.30am.

DAY 3

ok..day 3..i shall start frm 6.30am onwards..lolz..since we got hq at 6.30 am, and we were only suppose to leave at 9am, most of us ate some stuff left-over frm the bbq. i didn't cuz don feel like eating, so i skipped everything and since we can only leave at 9am, most of us, or should i say all of us, including the instructors, were like sleeping in the Haw Par Hall until de-brief time..after de-brief, wei ling and i went home together and we were sleeping all the way back to yew tee, i woke her up and i alighted cuz she will be alighting at cck, the next stop. it's around 11am when i had my lunch at yew tee food court. and went home. i bathed straight away and i juz slept in the living room. gosh..how tired i am!! lolz..

anyway, that's abt it..juz wanna sleep now..tata!!

???

Can someone tell me what's going on?
What I thought I felt, was it totally wrong?
I thought you were someone true,
but in one week, we were through.
You lied, you cheated, you did me bad,
but don't think you left me sad.
'Cause I didn't like you anyways.
I used you in too many ways.
Your best friend... I was with him too.
Your cousin- we're not even through.
So how does it feel to be on the other end?
You thought it was me,
but it was you in the end.

Shortly After Midnight

Shortly after midnight
into your room I go
And stand there gazing down at you
with eyes that love you so
Your head upon the pillow
your arms down at your side
Your lips in a faint smile
then next to you I slide

I kiss your eyelids softly
run fingers through your hair
I feel your breath upon me
do you know I'm there?
I put my arms around you
and hold you, oh so near
I whisper of my love for you
although you cannot hear

I cherish ev'ry moment as
I hold you close, my dear
For time goes by so quickly
and morning's almost near
Tho' you won't know I've been there
with you throughout the night
My love for you is ever close....
as darkness is to light

having camp tmr..red cross west district nco camp 2003..donno why my sch only me and wei ling go..kaoz~~ sigh..too bad lahz..camp fun mahz..although ish training camp..but still camp rite?? hahaz..anyway..didn't do anything today..wellz..gtg le..need to check my bag for da camp..kekez..niteyz!!

afternoon afternoon..was too angry to write down yesterday's thing..sigh..anyway, on thursday night, brudda and i were supposed to sleep early..but ermz..we played Virtucop2 until like 4am?? LoLx..de of cos was asked to wake up to have breakfast..after that, bro went to watch him new-bought dvd..forgotten the title anyway..forget it..i went it after my breakfast too..den ermz..i slept.. i really slept..until 1pm..gosh..guess i'm that tired then..hehe.. wellz..maybe cuz we slept at 4am the ngiht before sho..arghz..

anyway..bro ate his lunch quickly..like..around 15 mins?? whereas i accompanied yeye and mama..ate slowly..hehe..went back to sam's room..and he was playing Starcraft. then i started playing FFX..out of boredom..lolz..after that we played Virtucop until 4.30pm..he went to bathe while i was using to computer till 5 then i went to bathe.

came out..and got an sms frm ji xian..guess what he said?? " you didn't help me at all" didn't really understand what he said..so asked him what was he talking abt..he ans,"abt tun how, of course." i was like..ok..why i didn't help you?? it's such a long story..he was talking crap in ffantasy non-stop..my kor, tun how, asked him to shut up. guess what he replied?? "fuck off la" WHAT THE..they have been playing basketball everytime..den my kor asked him to change his attitude a long time ago..then he always said sorry sorry.. will change..so long still haven't change..as it goes..a leopard would never change its spots..isn't it right or what..anyway..after my kor got scolded in the main channel, he pban ji xian..of cuz i will do it too..after that, ji xian asked me to ask kor for forgiveness and also ask me to add his new rnick in that channel again....wellz..i told him i can only him you talk round with my kor but i will definitely not add you cuz had an instruction frm kor before that..so can only help him talk to my kor loz..sigh..but juz can't outtalk him..everytime can counter-attack me back..then no choice lo..can't do anything else..

then i was like.. wtf..i don't scold ppl that easy..especially vulgar..of cos i didn't scold him..but i was like"wtf!!" whose fault is it now?? mine or his?? he scolded me like i was in the wrong..like i didn't help him at all..he don't know how much i've helped him since i know him from the beginning..DAMN HIM..then his next sms was like..yea..your kor is trustworthy and i'm not..when on earth did i ever say that??!! man, my kor's right..he's always pushing his own fault to others..den he sent me another one..tea..your precious kor's frm jewel shop and i'm frm the bin..happy?? KAOZ..forget it..damn..actually my mood's alright yesterday before ju-jitsu.den because of that..my mood's affected..damn affected..of course not in the mood during the class..then what happen?? can't really concentrate during the class lahz..kaoz..1st time ok..HeLLo!!!

anyway, after the class..i got an sms frm him.."sorry..please forgive me.." i was like..excuse me, mister, i'm not like any other friends or gurls you've met before..plus, u accused me before, and i gave you a chance..too bad u didn't appreciate it. don blame me for being heartless..like before..scolded me and idiot..accused me of wanting to be the third party which i don't have in mind even if i die, man..then apologising to me after that. what the use?? really..sigh..can only blame myself for knowing and treasuring a wrong friend of mine..arghz..

whateva..after class..sam and i went opposite..had roti prata and he had mee goreng..he accompanied me to wait for the bus after that..sho nice of him..haha..thankz, bro!! lolz..while waiting for the bus, he slid his swiss knife into my bag..hahaz..sorta a kind of weapon lo..lolx..thanks ar..haha..then met up with my dad somewhere..went home together..

wellz..that's all..sigh..don wanna talk anymore..

Please love me too

You've got to help me, I feel like dying,
The last few nights, I've fallen asleep crying.
Don't you realize how it could be?
I just need you to forgive me.
I thought you knew me better than this,
I can honestly say that it's you I've missed.
I'm always seeing you in my mind,
It's my love for you that I needed to find.
You're in my head, night and day,
"I love you", is what I want to say.

*YaWnZ* ok..had a tiring day today...went to couz's sch today..with mom..den waited for him..my bRuDDa...to change out of sch uniform..after that, we went to Orchard Road to have lunch..at Spageddies..not a bad place lahz..only the service abit..not that up to standard..probably the restaurant doesn't have enough people to help out..heard it's a new branch from Tanglin Mall..hmmz...but at least got one waiter, has a good service atitude, very friendly too. =) JiA YoU WoRx!!! keep up the gd work!! hahahaz...

anyway, we went to metro to buy my new year suit..it's a pant suit..YeA!!! finally don need to wear skirt for new year!! LoLx!!! only can get the suit back next wk cuz send for altering..yea..den need to send it for dry-cleaning after that..forget the reason..kekeke..

after that, we went to Tea Chapter at Chinatown for tea..we learnt the basics of preparation of tea and serving tea. we ordered rose tea..it's a kind of floral tea. it's sho light and fragrant..it smells nice too..super nice..hahaz..we had some dim sums and tea cookies made from tea leaves..one word: DELICIOUS!!! haha..it's true, man.. lolx..we went Parkway to buy some stuff and went back to my brudda's place after that..tired lo..hahaz.. but quite happy lahz..donno why..lol..

that's all ba..nitey nite!!!

no title..care to think one for me?? LoLx..

ok..another entry without title..don wanna think..brain dead..lolz..the time now ish 2.11am..got home from ju-jitsu class at 12am..lol..it started at 8pm today..ok lahz..got there early..but i spent my time in the washroom..haha..changed..just nice..time for class!! lolz..learnt new techniques today..one-arm technique and some others..we practiced until 9+ then we watched a tape. it's abt a 7th dan master frm germany, i think. he came down during january this year. his partner, 6th dan, around 60 yrs old, got thrown alot of times..he also tolerate..WoW!!! den sensei said,"see, he got thrown so many times also tolerate..didn't go ahhh..." lolx..we were there laughing away..hahaha..

i think we watched until 10pm, went to change after that. had roti prata at the coffee shop opposite Katong Mall.

den senpai chua acompanied me home cos he stay bukit batok mahz..we took bus no. 16 until orchard road, den change to 190 to cck interchange den take mrt until yew tee. it's abt an hour or so lo..

ok lahz..that's all for today..tired..lolz..nitey nitez!!

arghz..darn it..my belt became yellow..not those yellow yellow..ish those dark yellow..very dirty one..arghz.....darn..tmr need to pack bag liaoz..den now like that..sms-ed both senpais..den yee ling senpai said she got..so she lent me..*phew* but still must pray that my belt will return to its original color..ok..that's one bad news..

wellz..good news ish..that my aunt has FINALLY agreed on my going home alone after much much persuasion..YAY!! i've been waiting for this..haha..wellz..noy i don't want my uncle to send me home..it's just that he's tired after a long day's work..and have to send me home at night..he's not a robot..and what if there's an accident?? then how on earth am i suppose to return a dad to my couz and a husband to my aunt?? somemore..i don wan to trouble ppl..feel bad..terribly bad..but now, luckily that i'm suppose to go home on myself.. heez..

yeahz..LoLxXx..hahahahaha..ok lahz..i'm both happy..and anxious..and abit angry..wellz..u guyz should know why..yea..LoLx..ok lahz..that's all..gotta sleep early tonight..niteyz!!

I Left You Behind!!

I left you behind,
behind all my fears,
all my tears.
Even though you helped me,
Helped me find a new way,
A new way to start each day.
I just have to leave you behind.
I cannot bring you, too.
I wish I could say one more time...

I love you...

I can't! I can't bring you along,
I want you gone.
Outta sight, outta mind, outta my memory.
I have to leave you behind.

I left you behind;
behind, for your own good.
Bringing you along, I wish I could.
I have to leave you
now and forever.
I wish for one more time,
For one more day...
I wish I could tell you
I have to...
I can't, I must, I'm gonna...
One last time, I say these words,
With all my heart...these words, true...

I left you behind, but... I still love you!

Will You...?

Will you lay a kiss on her lips?
Making her feel your magical touch.

Will you hold her under a starry sky?
Giving her all the comfort she will need.

Will you show her all your affections?
Doing so with all your reflections.

Will you dedicate yourself to her?
Giving her no reason to need another.

Will you be patient with her?
Letting her think things through.

Will you be desirable?
Making her think of no other.

Will you love her?
Making her yours forever.

Miles Apart

Even though we're thousands of miles away,
My love continues to grow with each passing day.
I'll give you my heart and pour out my soul,
But above all- this I want you to know.
You're an angel from heaven;
Sent by God, high above,
And in you heart he placed;
The purest of all eternal love.
I'll give you the world in the palm of your hands
How much I love you, I hope you understand.
But most of all I'll tell you this, too,
Until you return... I'll deeply be missing you.

juz got back frm ju-jitsu..yea..can't stay over at couz's place..cuz have rc training tmr..sigh..gotta wake up early~~~....

wellz..early in the morning..not that early..around 9.30am..got to sch to buy sec. 4's books..cheap sia..lolx..that's why i said..it's getting cheaper ad cheaper duing the sec. sch days..hahax..after that, i went to hq for west district camp briefing. yea..until 12+..had lunch at Aji-Sen later at P.S. with wei ling..lolz..sho long never see her le..miss her sia..hahaha..later ppl thought we lesbians worx..lol..anyway..wei ling's a nice gurl..too bad got stead le..GoD bLeSs!! after that, went to couz house..wellz..it's the earliest i ever got there..around 3.30pm..hahaz.. we went to Parkway..i bought some stuff for my hp..and he got Sakura Wars. don't know why..but this Sakura Wars thingy ish sho sho familiar to me..hmmz..maybe have seen it somewhere before..

anyway, during ju-jitsu, we had this grand master frm korea, reached our dojo at 8+..den he showed us afew moves..CooL!! lolx...i mean..yea..he knows korean martial arts, japanese ones, and also chinese..isn't it cool or what?? lolz..wellz..maybe i'm really exaggerating..but it's really kinda nice..better than nice..sigh..enough of that. wellz..he taught some of it..which we have sorta learnt b4..budden the feeling's TOTALLY DIFFERENT!! no idea why..maybe clearer, i guess..so sad..why?? cuz cheng huan not there..she left early lo..sho i no partner le..but in the end still got lahz..but ish a guy..quite si wen..lolz..denw e were like keep saying sorry..lolz..but we still did some of the techniques. although we weren't sure abt some of them, but seniors were there to help us. anyway, it lasted until 10pm..den, sam's father..my uncle, was there..waiting for us..den we went to fetch aunt frm the dinner..we had our dinner after that..and here i am!! back at my own sweet home..lolz..

and yeah, today's my fren's b-day!! HaPPY BiRtHdAy, JoShUa!!! my pri sch mate..lol..TaKe CaRe WoRx!!! haha...yea..met him again during ndp'03..lolx..sho fun huh..having someone u know over there..ok..not really someone u know, but at least frm the same pri sch..know u having camp now..so HaVe FuN!!! =P =P kekekekeke...

wellz..think that's all..tata!!

We Will Be Together Again

Not holding you in my arms is tearing me apart
Being away is something I never imagined from the start
I never thought we'd fall in love, so madly
I never realized life without you would be so bad

The gentle reassurance in your hand
Led me away to a make believe land
Now my heart can't resist,
But to yearn for your warmly embraced kiss
And being with you is something I miss

The things I'd give to have you in my arms
To just hold you close and protect you from harm,
They said it would never work because of your age,
To them my love for you was just a phase

When they came into our world and tore it apart
It soon became a broken promised 'land of heart'
They don't know what we've been through,
How much you love me and I love you

This can't be over; we're still not through,
So much we promised to do.
I know how to hide my love enough so it doesn't show
I can't hold back and refuse to let go

If they only knew how you make me feel,
With all the problems you helped me deal
All of the joy, happiness, and love to me you brought
You showed me I was beautiful outside and in.
And showed me true love time and time again

One day I will return to you all you have given me,
In some shape or form, soon you'll see
Send a message to my heart,
Promise me we will never part

One day we will be able to be together every day,
And we won't have to worry what they say
So when the time comes, promise me
You’ll take my hand and be with me

..Forever as long as we can.

THE LAST TIME

TONIGHT WILL BE THE LAST TIME-
WE'LL PART AND SAY GOOD-BYE
WE WON'T WATCH EACH OTHER LEAVING
WE WON'T LOOK BACK AND CRY

THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR TEARS
IT'S JUST A TIME TO WALK AWAY
IT HURTS ME MORE THAN ANYTHING
WE'LL NEVER MEET AGAIN THIS WAY

IT'S SAD IT HAS TO END LIKE THIS
I NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD
IT'S JUST ANOTHER SLICE OF LIFE
WE'RE ONLY DOING WHAT WE SHOULD

I WON'T FORGET A PRECIOUS MOMENT
AS WE COMMIT IT TO OUR PAST
THANKS FOR ALL THE MEMORIES
EACH ONE WILL ALWAYS LAST

I'LL SAY MY LAST, "I LOVE YOU"
IT'S ALL THAT'S LEFT TO SAY
I'LL LEAVE FIRST, FORGIVE ME
I CAN'T WATCH YOU WALK AWAY

Still Love You

You are the weakness that hits my heart
So much to say, but don't know where to start
I think about you every night and day
Baby, I love you, just show me the way

All I know is... I miss your love
You were an angel sent from above
You said you loved me- is that really true?
I'm so confused, but I know I still love you

No matter what you ever say or do
We both know- I'll come running back to you
You never hurt me, but you lied
You'll always be part of me deep down inside

You cheated on me, but you got caught
Said you'd never do it, is what I thought
How could you hurt me in a way like this
I need your smile and tender kiss

I loved it when held me tight
When we were together, you always treated me right
Late at night we always talked on the phone
Now I just lay in my bed all alone

I know I need you, do you need me?
If you don't, I hope one day you'll see
If you want me, just give me some time
Then I'll be yours and you'll be mine

Let Me Back In

You say you love me, but you won't let me back in;
A new life together is what we could begin.
I want to be your one and only;
So never again will you have to be lonely.

I'll stay true to you, till the very end;
Any heartaches you have, I'll gladly mend.
I only ask you to love me, too;
And anything you ask, I'll gladly do.

You're the one for me, forever and ever;
I want to be there through every endeavor.
Open your heart, let us share life together;
Betray and hurt you...? I shall never!!

I promise you these things- you again turn away;
If I don't try now, I fear I shall pay.
You might find someone else to take my place;
I would go crazy, if that'd be the case.

I want the chance, to love you once more;
I know I'll love you even more than before.
I'm more mature, I know what I want;
Imagine my life without you- I cannot.

But if you don't let me back in;
A new start we can never begin.
You wouldn't be my one and only;
I'd be forever... sad and lonely.

TiReD..

yea..tired..juz got home frm Haw Par Villa..was there for the project love thingy..it's kinda fun, although all of us were like, drenched in the rain?? yea..drenched..and were like muddy muddy..why?? cuz it was raining cats and dogs!! lolz..yea..but we kinda had fun too. the ppl frm my sch were in charge of the games. and i was like..omg!! could meet up with my frens again..frm the first aid workshop and ndp03..lolz..madness ish the word..lolx..
yea..anyway..i'm having a flu now..great..it came back..with abit of throat inflammation..what is this..arghz!!!

sigh..si ning dropped my hp when we were at the Villa..sigh..whenever i lend my hp to someone..that person will surely drop..kaoz..den i use myself won't drop..now got problem already..tell me how lahz..wah liew~~ donno how to take care one..sigh..no words can descibe how i feel..some ppl drop liao..spoil can buy new one..like those damn rich ppl..of cos lahz..those frm not-so-rich familes like mine..sure cannot de mahz..donno lahz..how am i suppose to tell my dad abt this..tell him my fren drop, also will kana scolding..say why lend your fren..say i drop..also kana scolding saying why i so careless..how how how..sigh...

Only You

Only you can make me happy.
I see the sun in your smile,
the moon in your eyes
and the eagle flying in your soul

You are the love of my life,
the other half of my soul.
You hold my heart in your hand.
You are life to me.

And when you love me
(like only you can do)
my heart and soul flys to meet you.
Our spirits join.

I love you like no other.
Only you have touched the hidden
places in my soul.
I will love you forever.

Journey

I don't know where I'm going.
Don't remember where I've been.
But I've got a funny feeling,
I'm headed there again.
I think back to when it started,
To the moment when I fell.
When I thought I was in heaven,
And I found myself in hell.
I never do the thinking,
Till after I have lost,
The will to live my life alone,
No matter what the cost.
So this time I'll be careful,
This time I'll be smart.
I'll watch the signs,
And read the minds,
Before the loving starts.
And when I meet a guy,
That takes my breath away,
Who makes me leave the hurt behind,
And love another day.
I'll tell him he will have to wait,
For me to come around.
And have a little patience,
Till I get to solid ground.

Don't count on it.

jus finished reading caro's blog..hope that entry's title isn't for me, gurl.. Sigh..i'm TRUly happy..for u guyz..alright?? nvm..forget it..don think she'll ever understand anyway..why do people tends to assume how others think to be the same as what they think of? i mean..why they juz can't, ya know, put themselves into others' shoes? well, probably they still may think differently..but it certainly doesn't mean it will be the same as others.. Anyway, my fren's in sgh now, currently having an x-ray..gonna have an operation after his o's..oh God..hope he's alright..may there won't be any major problems...Gob bless him..

sigh...

arghz..today..not feeling well..diarrhea...yea..ok..it hurts now..no idea where but..juz around stomach around or below it..yea..it's been acting up these days..donno can tolerate how long..arghz...

there's red cross today..no training, but only camp briefing and interview for the next com..and of course, i'm not gonna mention anything here in case any juniors..hmm hmm..u know..hee.. =P

anyway..yea..that's all lahz..sigh..bye..

hehe..

juz finished reading carolyn's blog..not a bad one. =) and i'm happy..ok..REAL happy!! hehe..yeapz..saw that neo-card too.. =D ha..can't express how happy i am..lalalalala..happy that they're together..happy that they are with each other..happy that they aren't quarreling now..oh..whateva!! lol..lalala..ok..i'm mad..although i'm not feeling good today..but i'm truly happy...hehe..oH mY!!! i don't know..that's just me..when others' happy, i just feel GrEaT!! oH mY oH mY!!! i'm mad..lol...yes yes..chin jan said i'm mad..ok..i admit..alright, fren?? hahaz..

yea...that's all for today..yeapz..tired mahz..k..byez!!

uh..great..

ok..i went for an eye check yesterday..out of the blue..and guess what?? i've got astigmatism..what the!!! but..my shortsightedness ish gone, which is good..i donno..probably gotta wear glasses during lessons..only..only!! sigh..gotta stay away from pc more often now..since..erz..wellz..don wanna damage my eyesight further..ok..my nightmare ish here..wearing specs!!! GREAT!!! how am i going to face the world from now on??!!! arghX!!!! i don't know..really don't have a clue about this..sigh..

anyway..that's it for today..sigh..

no title..so be it..it's erz..11pm..yea..am...and i'm not asleep yet..no idea why..hee...wellz..these days my friends seem to have lotsa problems..yea..like lyon..he's having a problem with his friend..frm his point of view, his friend changed alot..becomes more snobby..wellz..sec. 2, a rich and smart girl..and i mean really smart..going to NJC to study sec.3 lesson..according to the JC standard, i guess..anyway, at first, his friend was like being pissed off by him, and now it's the total other way round..that's what he said..wellz..sec. 2..the time when we were once before..the time when we were rebellious amd such..so i think wellz..probably things will change for a better?? wellz..it's possible, right?

the other friend of mine is yong wei..she seems to have lotsa problems with alex..wellz..miscommunication, i suppose..which is mostly the main reason for the break-up of a relationship..hmmz..girls tend to think guys should be more sensitive towards feelings..wellz..if it is so..why they don't be girls too then?? i mean no offense..really..but guys ARE like that. wellz, most of them...although it's kinda difficult to tell them how we feel, but, girls, sometimes u juz gotta tell them!! if not..they won't..for the rest of their lives, they just won't know and understand what going on in us..

wellz..juz wanna pray that my friends won't think too much about their problems..although i know they will..and also pray that the problems they have will go as they come..and also that no matter what obtacles are waiting for them in the future, they will have the spirit, strength, mentality, to overcome all obstacles and temptations, no matter how tough they will be.
juz recieved an sms from lyon..saying that he felt better after sharing with me his problems..wellz..i'm glad that he's willing to share, and i'll always be there for anyone who needs a listening ear. =)

wellz..i don't really need one..as long as others are happy, i don't mind about myself anyway..yeapz..the joy from the heart..is not built on others' misfortune, but others happiness...when they gain something, your feel happy for them, whether or not it's related to you in any way.

anywayz..i don't really know about myself..my wrists broken, my back too..ok..not broken..sort of sprain my wrists, i guess..but it was like..a few weeks ago?? same go to my back..noe the whole spine, but the end of the spine, ya know..the one at the butt..yea..there..wellz..it's not like i can't sit or stand or what..it's juz that i had difficulty..and i mean..real and great difficulty doing all those breakfalls, and stuff like that during my class..if they don't heal by this coming weekend, i think i'm juz gonna stay around doing nothing..wrists..exert no pressure to them..my back..well..it's fine now, i guess, since there's no pain..but i'm not sure about the class this coming week..should i do or not?? let's see about it then, since it's kinda wasting time thinking about it now..

wellz..think i gotta go now..i spent like..what..more than 1 hr to write this?? not really..wellz..although it's already 2.55am..but i was..ya know..doing something else..anywayz..gd nite!!

ALWAYS IN MY HEART

WHEN WE FIST MET, I NEVER THOUGHT WE WOULD BE THIS CLOSE,
BUT OUR FRIENDSHIP RIGHT NOW TO ME MEANS THE MOST.

NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS I WILL ALWAYS BE BY YOUR SIDE,
I KNOW YOU CARE BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU SAID AND HOW YOU CRIED.

I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER WHAT WE SAID THAT NIGHT,
THE PROMISE, THE TEARS AND EVEN THE FIGHTS.

I AM NOT TRYING TO BRING UP THE BAD THINGS OF NIGHTS PAST,
BUT THE THINGS YOU SAID TO ME, IN MY HEART THEY'LL FOREVER LAST.

WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY IS THAT YOU WILL ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART,
EVEN IF WE ARE MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF MILES APART!!

ALL I ASK

I like to have you with me
Every minute of the day.
It doesn't matter what I’m doing
Even if it's come-what-may.

I like your sense of humor
And the fact that you have style.
I like having fun with you
And, of course, I love your smile.

You are the best of company
Out of anyone I’ve known.
Then, again, when you're around
Who has time to feel alone.

Perhaps that's why I love you
And always want you near.
You make me more aware of life
And your heart is so sincere.

You’re such a joy to be around
I can't let you roam too far.
All I would ever ask of you
Is to stay the way you are.

I'll Always be Your Friend

Let go of all your anger,
Let go of all your pain,
Don't keep it all bottled up inside,
Don't play this foolish game.

Tell everyone how you feel,
If they are true friends...
They will try their hardest
To help your heart heal.

Try your best to not be sad,
Be glad, don't be mad.

Life will be hard every now and then,
But I want you to know....

I'LL ALWAYS BE YOUR FRIEND.

The Pain of Love

Have you ever loved someone
who you didn't want to hurt.
Have you ever wanted to say, "I Love You"
but the words just didn't work

Have you ever kept a secret
that you wish you could tell.
Instead you kept it bottled up inside
and now it hurts like hell.

Some things are better left covered
and others are just meant to be told
But while you wonder if it's the right thing to do
your heart on the subject is getting cold.

Sometimes I wonder why I'm still here,
why I'm not buried six feet under.
Sometimes I try to figure out
what keeps me from going into an eternal slumber.

And while all these pains of love are ripping through my head
I'm sittin here..wishing i was dead..

YeA!!

haha..yeapz..my pc ish fine!! YeA!! lol..anyway, i need to give thanks to my fren, xiangwei..he came down to my house to format my pc..ok..i forgot how to format..sho..sigh..hopeless memory..anyway..today he came over again..cos my pc was infected by a virus..but now it's perfectly fine!! thankz, xiangwei!! lol.. yeapz..he help me upgrade to window xp..lol..hahaha..sho nice of him..lol..anyway..yea..my pc ish working fine now..den..internet..of course..no problem already..hahaha...ok i'm mad..i know..lol..

yea..juz finished the red cross thingy..sianz..always like that one..sigh..but nvm lahz..used to it already..what to do..

today after meeting, i went to popular to buy some books..The Chinese Cinderella, and the All-American Girl..ok..gotta pay that All-American Girl to the sch's library..why?? wellz..cos i lost a cd-rom..it's like..such a long time..den they came and ask me to pay now.. -.-" anyway, mrs. ram said there's no such cd-rom selling in the market, sho i juz have to buy a fiction book which cost around $15..sigh..expensive..isn't it..wellz..no choice..that's the price to pay..yeapz..that's it..

anyway, i think that's all..kidna boring day today..and i'm down with a flu..again..hopeles..lol..ok lahz..buaiz!!

I will Be There For You

If you are ever facing a problem
there are three important things to remember.

First, remember that things could always be worse.
Somewhere in the world there is someone facing
a much bigger problem than you are.

Second, remember the good things in life.
Remember the innocence of youth, the beauty of nature,
and the warmth of love.

Third, remember that I will always be your friend.
No matter what happens
I will always be there for you.

May all your days be beautiful and bright...
and all your nights be peaceful.

Thanks for being such a great friend!

no entry title..cos donno what to put..

yea..although i slept quite late yesterday, but i woke up quite early this morning..anyway, i brought my friend, xiangwei, to my church yesterday..he said not bad lo..anyway, he's a christian, and he asked me to go to his..budden..i got follow-up lehz..next time ba..sorry, fren!!

anyway, there's something wrong with my pc..not really pc but ish the interent connection thingy..sigh..always like that..i've tried alot of times..install and uninstall..budden..seems no use..sigh..forget it la..i juz have to type in the microsoft word den paste in my blog when the internet ish fine again..

wellz..during the service yesterday, they talked abt the youth camp..donno lehz..7-11 dec..my red cross camp ish 1-3 dec...i think should be ok ba..if my dad allows, of course..

anyway, think that's all..sigh..tired..yes..tired..buaiz..

I'll Be There

When troubles, dangers, and sorrows befall you,
And you're looking all around for someone to turn to,
I'll be there.

When your spirit sinks into the depths of despair,
And just wish for a moment the world was fair,
I'll be there.

When one you have loved has passed away,
And, although I know there's nothing I can say,
I'll be there.

So, when the world has turned its back to you,
And you're looking for a light to help you through,
I'll be there.

Because that's what friends are for, day after day,
No matter how many times... to be able to say,
I'll be there.

boring..day..morning...

woke up at..10am..sian sia..yesterday i slept at dad's roomwhile watching tv..of cos my bio. dad..lol..anyway, woke up at 5+ and slept again..feel sho tired now..*yawnz*..gotta go sam's house later..yea..usual routine anyway..friday..sho fast..time really flies..that's why i juz drop by to leave an entry cos i don't think that i would have the time later..bet my couz would be using the pc to play game..haha..i know him too well lahz..lol..grew up together one..always fight with each other..haha..although now don have already..somemore better lo..lol..yea..

anyway, think i gotta go now le..go bathe den say bye to my sweet house..buaiz!!

dinner with who?? guess lo..haha..

yesh yesh..had dinner with Alvin daddy again..as usual..late..supposed to meet him at toa payoh at 7pm..den he ar..donno do what..reached at abt 7.30..aiyo..den i told him," next time my mommy sure very jialat de..have to wait for u for sho long.." haha..i'm his 3rd daughter..can also say the most naughty one.. =P btw, we had dinner at Pizza Hut today..he told me abt the code, hospital 1-6, etc, etc..learnt alot of things frm daddy..alot of red cross and nursing stuff..gd mahz..got more knowledge..anyway, we left earlier today..cos daddy looked tired..sho tell him go home early lo..

he alighted the train, den i got one msg frm ji xian..sigh..one more chance for our friendship..ok lo..budden things will never be the same as before..of cos it wouldn't be..sigh..the scar will always be there..of cos..hurting words means alot, isn't it..sigh..

anyway, talked to xiangwei juz now..he seemed sho er..sad?? puzzled?? donno how to say..feel down lo..yeah..between him and jane..he likes jane..sigh..propably cos of his actions..jane abit pissed off ba..cos it's exam period for her now..sho..wellz..not really rejection budden it's like telling him not to disturb her i think..yea..den he asked me..if jane reject me, den can i jio u..lol..of cos..not..haha..tt's my reply..den he ask me why..no reason..like means like..don like means don like..i don see any reason in this anyway..lol..yea..anyway, hope that he and jane will be together..

no title..so don look for one..

donno today what happened lo..don feel well..sigh..budden at night still go out with Alvin for dinner..lol..i waited for him at TTSH cos he's having his attachment there. While waiting, an old lady asked me where the mrt stn is so i brought her to novena mrt stn. den i went back to the hospital. was supposed to meet him at 8.15pm..sigh..he's late..haha..but only for a few mins only..sho it's fine..lol..we went to Burger King for dinner after that. There was like..so much things to talk lo..haha..knew him since he was a cadet until know..which ish like..1 yr plus?? lol..budden he very bad sia..always bully me..haha..abusing authority..later i go tell --- ---- then u know ar..hahahahahaha...we chatted until 10+ den we left for mrt stn..he alighted at ang mo kio den mine ish yew tee..duhz..lol..anyway, it's fun having dinner with him..frens mahz..haha..anyway, he ish my daddy liaoz..lol..

think that's all ba..buaiz..

If You Only Knew...

If you only knew how much I love you
maybe you would treat me right
If you only knew of all the pain you've caused me
you wouldn't make me cry
If you only knew what I've been through
just to make you happy
you wouldn't have me tangled up
like a peice of tangy taffy
Just once, just one time
I want to hear you say, "I love you"
and just once, just one time
I want to call you my Boo
I love you with all my heart
and I'm not afraid to admit it
'cause I know if I don't reveal my
feelings for you now
our friendship will be ended
You mean so much to me
You are my world
Just once, just one time
I want to be called your girl

ice-skating

HaPPy BiRtHdAy, AlViN!! lol..yeapz, today ish his actual bday..monday..not skipping sch..ish becos today ish promotion day..sho there's no lesson.hee..met shannon and dave there around 11am..den mrs. kang, freddie, gavin and others were there around 3..met some of my frens too. i went there to learn how to ice-skate..wellz..abit lo..but still not sure..den fell thrice..haha..but still ok la..lol..we skate until 7pm den have dinner together..got home at 9.30pm..hee..
really had a great time today..thanks, guyz!! lol..
anyway, that's all..yea..i know..it's short..budden..nth to write..hee..sho gd nite!

juz got home..tired..*yawnz*

*yawnz* juz woke up..hee..cam back frm chalet in the early afternoon juz now..yeapz..alvin's birthday. he asked me to go a few days ago, budden i told him that maybe can't cos yesterday's first aid duty donno until what time..den yesterday most of us have to go back durin evening, around 6 cadets and the instructors have to stay back until 10+ after the campfire..i called my dad, ask him if i can go to chalet, den he say have to be back at 10.. -.-" den i was like nvm lo..don go..den later he call, telling me to go stayover, cos he'll be home late lo..haha..san i ask him..can mehz?? u got sho gd one ar?? lol..of cos lahz..joking only..thanks, dad!!

hahaha..anyway, we helped to clear the stuff, etc, den i went to buy some cornflour and eggs..haa..den i kept it in my bag lo..lol..the sirs and ma'ams ask me to buy one..haha..den i went to the room..wellz..alvin said he invite alot of cadets..looks like only some of us lo..quite alot of ppl there..den andrew threw something to the plastic bag, budden hit li fang's (i think) hand lo..den she very not happy..yea..very..ask her stead to come up..sighx..alvin told me, that andrew, his stead, tiffany, and li fang are logger-heads..yea..real logger-heads..anyway, we went down to bbq..xiangwei and jane left, den i sent joyce to meet her dad, doreen ma'am asked 2 sirs to accompny us lo..

den as the night became darker more ppl left, den left only the hq ppl and me..yea..me..the only cadet..haha..budden ok lo..den they told me not to tell anyone abt how they behave la..haha..juz fun lahz..haha..anyway, some of us watched show, den others played dai-dee, i'm also invloved..until aroun 4+ den most of us slept..eng kee sir was the fist one to sleep..i think around 12-1am..haha..den others when outside..juz normal chit-chat lo..den we went to the beach and sleep..haha..not bad sia..lol..quite comfy..hee..went back to chalet around 9am..they still sleeping..haha..den all of us went to burger king to have breakfast.

we cleared up the room den alvin sent doreen ma'am to toa payoh, david sir to bishan den me to cck. thanks alvin, and his dad too!! haha..btw, i had a great time there..

*yawn* think i betta go slp now..gotta go for ice-skating tmr..hee..nitex.

!!HaPPy dEEpaVaLi!!

today ish DeePaVaLi!! HAPPY DEEPAVALI, FrEnS!! lol..anyway, i'm at my cousin's hosue now..yeapz, same cousin..today don't have ju-jitsu cos it's public holiday, sho we had the lesson on tues already..yeapz..and it ended at 8.15pm, den it's time for the colored belts to train..den we had dinner at a coffee shop den my uncle sent me home..

anyway, let's talk abt today..haha..wellz..nothing much..was watching tv programm juz now cos sam ish using pc..playing game..what is it called again?? oh ya..half-life..kinda bloody and violence..but ok lahz..at least the cross-hair ish better than counter strike..hee..

well..gotta sleep early today..have a full day first aid duty tmr at moe cca branch..gotta report at 6.45am at red cross hq..sighx..early..that's why i'm at my couz place today..lol..his place is nearer to hq..somemore his dad gonna send me there..lol..gd hor..thank u, uncle lawrence. anyway, that's all for today..gotta slp early..nitez!!

no title..don ask why..

sighz..alot of things happened these few days..carolyn and wee liang..red cross..etc etc..juz don wanna mention..sighz..red cross..no use lahz..put in sho much effort..also no use..the effort that i put in, is really more than other sergeants..den what i get?? sergeant..if i knew that, why should i put in sho much?? i mean, it's also getting the same rank as others who don put in anything..so what for?? sighz..

anyway, really feel happy that carolyn and wee liang are ok now lo..THANK YOU, LORD!! misunderstandings..sighz..juz becos i helped wee liang in art..i don ask for anything in return but..what i get?? scoldings and misunderstrandings..since i got the time..why not?? if ji xian they all ask,i will also help..sighx..shouldn't agree to help him after all..look at the mess..darn..sighx..that's why i always say, don be a gd person..it doesn't pay to be kind..and it's true..too true..rumours..darn the rumours..darn the people who spread them..what's the rumour?? good question..saying that i wanna patch..for goodness sake!! patch!! am i so low-down?? please ok?? PLEASE!! ppl got stead..and it's carolyn..moreover, i won't go so low until going for patch..crap!! i mean..even if he's single, i won't too..i'm single, doesn't mean that i don't like anyone..sighx..why they can't think of that..they juz can't..some ppl..juz think of themselves..of cos..not talking abt carolyn..but some others..juz don wanna name..sighx..we are juz frens..darn it..

what's more?? becos of this, i'm getting scolded by ji xian..ji xian..a fren of mine which i really cherish..which i considered as a gd fren..he sms-ed me on monday when i was on my way to hq..telling me to get away frm wee liang..ello!! of cos i would..i mean..there's really nth between us, alright?? using such harsh words somemore..den tues, sms-ed me..saying sorry..what's the point..i'm already hurt by him..sighx..den i ask him, go and try stabbing someone, and say sorry after that..how would you feel??

sighx..juz becos of wee liang, my fren scolded me..now..we can't be as what we were anymore..not i'm petty or what..but i really hate it when ppl malign me or my frens..sighx..it's like..aiyahz..donno how to describe..i think lotsa ppl know that kind of feeling..
sigh..don wanna talk abt this anymore..until now..i still miss my grandparents and my greatgrandfather..sighx..and lotsa my relatives..and i also miss the old days..the pri sch days..with all my buddies..budden now diff sch le..sad..but it's alright, at least still have a gathering once on a while..

sighx...donno lahx..i was juz wondering..what if i juz can't hold on any longer..sighx..it seems that the things all juz piling up within me..heavy..really heavy..can't breathe..sighx..

-=ic3st0rmer=?? i'm always there for people in need, but will anyone be there for me ??=ic3st0rmer=-

Why?

Why does my heart no longer feel whole?
Why do I suddenly feel lost?
Why does it feel like I lost my whole world,
At such an unreasonable cost?

Why do my tears feel like oceans of seas?
Why does the pain never end?
Why is it so hard to love and be loved?
Why must I always pretend?

Why do the days and nights seem so long?
Why does the time feel so slow?
Why does it feel like I have to go on,
Without letting my true feelings show?

Why can't I trust my heart with another,
Without doubting they won't let it break?
Why do I find myself constantly hurt?
I don't know how much more I can take..

Ever wonder why..

Ever wonder why life deals you the worst possible hand?
In a room full of seats, you're left to stand.
Trying to grasp onto life- but you fall behind;
All crazy things keep on running through your mind.

Feeling suicidal, reaching out for hope;
Keep hearing you're a loser and you're learning how to cope.
Walking down a road but you don't know where to turn;
Crowds of people by a flame and you're the only one to burn.

Screaming out for help and no one hears your call;
Trying to stand up but you just continue to fall.
Slowly urging the pain to just go away;
Crying for it to go but it continues to stay.

Keep on feeling confused and trying to understand why;
You know you're alive but you wish you would die.
Can't seem to understand the things that keep happening to you;
Wanting only an explanation for the things you do.

You feel like running away but you can't seem to move;
You keep trying to give yourself reasons to live.
but there's nothing more to prove.
Lacking any self respect you ever had,
wanting so much to understand but blocked by your inner self.
Thinking of death and wishing you would die,
Saying 'hello' to the world... when you really want to say 'bye.'

what.kind.of.feeling.do.i.have.today.?.

GrEaT!! ExAmZ finally OvEr!! lalalala..hehez..so now at last, i have time to write my diary..sho entry won't be poems every time..hehe..budden now worried about the results..haix..hope can get promoted to sec. 4 exp..exp..while these few days happened alot of things..but i'm happy that Lord is with me.. Thank You, Lord!!
i went back to sch today..although we don't have to cos it's marking day..but i gotta go back to stock up the first aid kits and bags..sianz..after that, i went down to h.q. to hand in the consent forms for the west district camp..haix..den met my dad for dinner..we ate in a hurry..he lahz..got dinner also never tell me earlier..haix..always last min one..sometimes really cannot stand him sia..hehe.. =P

wellz..on my way to hq..ji xian sms-ed me to stay away frm wee liang..ok..i know..wee liang and carolyn mahz..my fault..i should've sms them before going to the storeroom where wee liang's having his artwork there after finishing stocking the first aid kits and bags..budden i was sho busy in the morning and afternoon..it juz slipped out of my mind..haix..damn myself..memory failing sia..budden..what i can do now..i mean..i feel really bad to cause a misunderstanding between them lo..haix..i don't want it to happen de..although they quarrel over small things..budden i juz don't want them to separate lo..cos they really like each other..don't they?? if they really do..i tell u..i'm not gonna forgive myself, manz..juz listen to ji xian lahz..stay away frm wee liang they all lo..to avoid any further misunderstandings..
that's all for today lo..nitez..one more thing..even if wellz..it really does happens, me and wee liang's not going back together..although still like him as friends..but we won't be more than that..of cos..co si want to honour my Lord..so i don't think i will have a relationship with anyone else for now..especially with a non-christian..not that i'm bias against religions budden..there's some reasons..quite difficult to explain in words..

" Father of Heaven Lord, my friends, Wee Liang and Carolyn, really like each other, so Lord, please bless them that they'll stay forever, Lord, no obstacles will be blocking their way. Father, even if there is, i pray that no obstacles would and could separate them apart. And Father Lord, i also want to pray that they won't quarrel over small things like before, Lord, and that they'll also cherish and love each other no matter what happens. Thank You, Father, Thank You. In Jesus's name i pray. Amen."

Without You

I look at you, you look back at me,
We're meant to be together, that's plain to see.
I long to tell you how I feel,
That the love I have for you is precious and real.
I want to have you by my side,
I'll love you forever, in me you can confide.
I often think about you and me together,
A love so strong even God cannot sever.
I yearn to be held safe in your arms,
Protecting me from anything that will cause me harm.
When you leave, your presence is still here,
I feel you're a part of me, you seem so near.
Without you I am nothing,
Without you I am suffering.
Without you I am not whole,
Without you I have no soul.
You and I should never be apart,
Because YOU own the key to my heart...

Crying

I'm crying as you read this
And I cried as I wrote
All I have left is to cry
When you left my world in smoke
My tears burn my cheeks
Mangled features left to shame
Yet, I continue crying
There's only myself to blame
Have you ever cried before?
I'm not the only one, I know
I've felt this pain too many times
And I left it there to grow
So, here I sit alone
Feeling like I'm dying
Look at me, if you dare,
And watch me while I'm crying

Do you remember....

Do you remember the way it felt when we first kissed,
Your soft lips against mine?
Do you remember the first time you looked into my eyes
and saw the flame that burned for you deep in my heart?

Do you remember the way we stayed up all night
and talked about our dreams?
Do you remember the way we would know it all...
without having to say a word?

Do you remember when we thought our lives would come together
like a circle that never ends?
Do you remember when we thought
the world would revolve around our love?

I do...
And it is remembering that makes it hard for me to forget.

Though You Forgot Me

I wish I wouldn't miss you
for only you could soothe my pain
All the times we've been through
I wish we could do it all again
The memories live in my every day
I sometimes try to ignore
but they're always in the way;
making me miss you even more
I'm trying to forget
how very perfect you are

That unworthy night I met
my dream man that you are
how I could barely speak to you
The first night we talked
I could barely breathe, it's true
I was sure my heart had stopped
for no one else would I feel this way
You are the only one
nothing will take away those days
when I met you, my true love

How beautiful those days were
how great things used to be
Maybe someday you'll remember
that you've forgotten me.

Loneliness

The stars are shining brightly,
In the midnight sky.
I miss you more and more,
With every second that goes by.

I'm lying in this bed,
It's as empty as can be.
This is all because,
You're not here with me.

Missing You

Loving you is something i always do
Missing you is something i don't mind, too
But tonight is different, i really miss you, boo,
I'm missing you like crazy, i don't know what to do

The only thing on my mind is you, every hour, every second
Baby, i can't get you off my mind
You come first, everything else is second
I don't know how to stop, maybe through time

Here i am again wondering if you're okay
I wonder if you're having fun this holiday
Even though i promised myself i wouldn't think of you today
It's too hard not to miss my baby, there's no way

I wanna go home, i wanna see you so bad
I wanna show you i love you and give you a kiss
I miss you a lot, baby, it's getting me upset
It hurts so much, i'm really not used to this

Every night i miss you, can't be with you- i get weak
I just stare out into the starry sky
And a tear drop slowly rolls down the side of my cheek
The wind gently touches my face and dries my teary eyes

The Evil Within

She puts down the phone
with tears in her eyes
and runs to the door,
but You she doesn't find.

She lookes into the mirror
and a stranger stares back,
looking for answers
which her soul lacks.

So, she reaches for the blade
and slides it across her skin
as the blood of her pain,
pours out her sin.

It flows to the floor
and a puddle it forms
as tears trickle down her face
and she knows this is the end.

The room turns black
and her thoughts start to spin
as she says good-bye,
to the evil within.

Why? (By: Jen)

Do you ever stand outside and wonder why?
Why people live?
Why people die?

Do you ever stand outside and wonder why?
Why people smile?
Why people cry?

Do you ever stand outside and wonder why?
Why there is ground?
Why there is sky?

I don't...

I stand outside and I wonder why;
Why am I so stupid?
Why did I let our love die?

a liar's love

People think of love as a big thing,
when really it's often a one night fling.
one night of pleasure, nine months of pain,
he tells her he loves her and gives her his ring.

The pregnancy test does not lie,
all of her dreams shatter and die.
total denial is what she finds,
excuses and options fill his mind
He told her he loved her, she believed him, too.
now that he is gone, there is nothing to do.

people think of love as a big thing,
when really it's usually a one night fling.
One night of plesure, nine months of pain.
in a liar's love... it's all just a game.

HaIz..EYE exam..

wellz..juz dropping a short entry today lo..i had my end-of-year exam today..actually it started on 6th Oct..den today ish the 2nd day lo..i had my Eng paper 1 and Social Studies in Monday..die liaoz la..den today ish Chinese Paper 1 and 2..don need to live already..haix..what to do..i really got no confidence..although got study budden..aiyahz..donno lahz..now at cousin's house..should know why..going for class later..

i think that's all for today lahz..if continue den sure will be late de lo..byebye..

Second Chance

There is something I never told you,
my timing was never right.
It's a secret I kept from you,
I held it with all my might.

Telling you
would have been a mistake.
At least that's what I told myself
time and time again.

It made that empty feeling go away
even if for the moment.
The idea that you could love me
the way I did you,

Was something I felt,
never thinking you could, too.
Now the years have gone by
and the memories have faded away.

It doesn't seem to matter
until you cross my path once more.
Sitting here thinking
of the time I let pass,
Just wishing for one moment
where I could have a second chance-
Would things have turned out differently?
I haven't got a clue.

Drifting back, I wonder...
What life would have been like
..with you?

what lahz..

wellz..my class and 3/11 had to stay back after school in the learning centre today. as expected, it's about the overhead projector in my class. during cme lesson, ms fong wanna use the OHP, budden it couldn't work. so she opened it up and saw water in it. i think she reported to mr chew..that's why we have to stay back in school..haix..den everyone wrote statement from the time we got to school this morning until teacher told us about the OHP thingy..what were doing during this period of time..waste of time..

then later, i met Sharon, my DGL, at causeway for follow-up lesson. we discussed about the five assurances. den she treated me to Burger King for dinner when going through the lesson..hehe..it's really good lo..i mean it's like can know God's words better..and also the plans he had for us, etc by reading the bible..

wellz..think that's all for today lahz..

Searching for Myself

I remember a time when my heart would sing out
I remember the joy and what life was about
But something has happened to that girl I knew
I wish I could find her but I haven't a clue

I search for the happiness that was taken away
I search for my heart, every night, every day
A search that's exhausting, that gnaws at the mind
I search for myself, for my heart I must find

It's a lonely road but the path holds just me
It's a journey of rebirth, of trying to break free
But I will find my heart, somewhere on that road
And remember once again of days long ago

To those people who try and get hurt none-the-less
In trying to help me in this time of duress,
Please don't give up, remember me then
Back in the days, when my smile came from within

I'm trying to find my way back to that place
Where laughter and joy put a smile on my face
Where friends and family meant the world to me
I pray that I find it, I pray to be free

I get scared sometimes of what I've become
Will my heart stay like stone? But I can't succumb
I have to stay strong for what lies ahead
I have nothing to fear, I have nothing to dread

The search for myself has been a long, lonely one
But I will find me and lead me back to the sun
To a place not so distant, a place not unknown
To a place I remember, a place I call home...