New Software: Husband 1.0

Dear IT Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower, gifts and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6..5, but installed undesirable programs such as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and World Cup 2.0.

And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate Housewife


Reply:

Dear Desperate Housewife,

First keep in mind:

Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0 ..

If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late Night Teh Tarik 6.1.

Late Night 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.wav files.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Sexy Dress 3.0 and Tongkat Ali 6.9.

Good Luck,
IT Support

The Fastest Starlet in Town!!

yea.. like real... it's just a 1.3 carb. i was aiming that car dealer till my frens wanna laugh.. btw, the conversation was in mandarin..

Me: Is this the starlet on sgcatmart?
Dealer: Yup. This starlet very fast, and in a good condition.
Me: But there are some tiny cracks on the windscreen lor.
Dealear: WHere got.. aiya.. those can just touch up de la..
Me: Ar.. ok (wtf) Hmm... but form the web, it's got a full GT bodykit, however it seems lacking of a spoiler.
David: Spoiler can just buy la, nvm de la...
Me: but web mentioned that it'd got recaro seats, but no matter how i looked at it, er..
Dealer: Neh, recaro seats lor.
Me: But that's only GT seats leix...
Dearler: Aiya, recaro also sports seats mahx.. same one la..
Me:(speechless..dotx dotx)

KK was trying so damn hard not to laugh, David was expressionless, cause he knows what i'm trying to do.. hahaha!!

oh, and we saw another blue one with a FULL GT bodykit at least... stock engine. 1e carb. and they got another dealer to talk to us... of course in mandarin.

Dealer: this stock engine quite fast and in a good condition as the previous owner who bought from us is from police, then he sold it back to us again and get a weekend car. YOu know hor, i heard from my fren said starlet got a club de leix... and hor, the starlets in the club are very fast lor... my friend also said they've go those round headlamps.. very expensive lor!!! but very chio la...

We were like nodding our heads but LAUGHING inside.. :P
we just said KK just got his licence, so he's thinking of getting a stock car and mod it. blah blah... then KK said my friend also drives a starlet.. that red one outside. So dav drove in, the dealer was "wah, very sui leix.." He asked if he can look at the engine, so we just "pop" the bonnet. The dealer was like WAHHH!!!! and in mandarin he said," got turbo right????!!!!!!" we just laughed and nodded our heads.

He passed us his name card.. and his name is Nah (Which i think is his surname). We were so trying hard not to laugh... but we still did after getting inside the car..LOLx! i know it's bad to laugh at people's name. but he's name is real funny.. lOl~!!

We dropped by Wendy's to have prata since we've eaten nothing for the whole day, and just chatted and chatted.. went bbq @ punggol around 8. And the best thing was, the organiser was the latest! he got there around 9, 10pm.. dotx!! but it's still fun with the laughter, the chats and stuff... we went off early, about 11.30pm... waited for Tobi'rina' for mj, till this morning.. lOlx~ at least i won some money, not bad not bad.. hahah~

Iron Man

Watched iron man with david & kk yesterday night.. it's ok la overall, but some parts were really funny.. lOlx..

few days ago, we saw a sarlet selling on sgcarmart having full GT bodykit, recaro seats and it's the fastest starlet in town!!! now, it's caught all of the starlet kakis attention!! muahahhaha!! but 1st of all, it's so called full GT bodykit is lacking of the spoiler, the recaro seats are only GT seats (-.-"").. And for the fastest starlet in town, we're going to test drive it today!! die die also have to sia sui the dealer!! mUHAHhahah!! see whose starlet is faster lor... scarli that starlet has 5efte engine then i nth to say le.. but on the other hand, if that owner is selling a 5efte engine for just $11~K, he's really either gila, or just a plain fuckin' moron... but if he's selling a 1to 3e engine, can really go n fuck spider cause the price is just too expensive..

will be updating after the starlet "showdown"!! ^^

Forbidden Kingdom

Done with Forbidden Kingdom last month... not bad, but it's just so weird when it's in English. We all agree that it'll be much much MUCH better in Mandarin instead...

I can't wait to watch Indiana Jones & Narnia and others.. movies, anyone?

This Sunday's Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day to all the great mummies out there!! Though i didn't grow up with a mother, but i'm more than happy with having mummy with me already. mom, i guess you should know what i'm talking abt right? ^^
I've got more than a thousand words to tell you, but nothing is able to describe how thankful i am that you're around & helping me all these 20 years in my life with my ups & downs.

LOVE YOU!!! MUACKS~!!!!

Had dinner with muah family on Sat @ Parkroyal (Kitchener Road). Fortunately, we were there @ 6.30pm cause it's SOOO crowded by 7,8pm already. Anyway, we finished our dinner at 9 plus (yup, 9 plus!) and i'm so BLOATED. =P Thanks mom, dad & sam for the wonderful dinner. ^^

Had an appt with Master Chew to visit my house yesterday afternoon... got rid of my possessed bolster.. there's a female spirit in it whom nobody knows where she's from. Also have to get rid of the fish tank since pa's element is fire, so having a fish tank (even worse, it's placed at his "prosperity location").. lOlx~ gotta change the furniture setting in 2 bedrooms & the living room, gotta buy 5 zhao cai mao, and 2 dangling? blinds. Oh, and i've never seen that pair of dowsing rods was opening that wide, literally straight, in fact, when facing me. good sign, i supposed? muahahhahaha! ^^

Anyway, 3 of us & James went to witness an exorcism of a middle-aged lady at night by Master Chew, and went for dinner at his new bak kut teh shop @ Joo Chiat. Yum~~!!! Then, we still went over to Wendy's with Getz club.

Tiring...

You Were The One
by Stephanie Marie DreamAngel

You were the one
Who treated me like sh**
You were the one
Who always like to hit.

You were the one
Who would never call
You were the one
Who introduced me to the wall.

You were the one
Who thought you was just "too cool"
You were the one
Who made me out to be the fool.

I can only hope and dream
That one day
You will awake and see
You no longer mean anything to me.

WHY?
by S M Z

Each night as i fall asleep,
All I think about is you.
I can't help myself, I start to weap.
You said you loved me too.

You said that was the last time it would happen,
That your love for me would be true.
I took you back with loveing arms,
And now i see that was a lie, too.

As i lay in bed and remember our times,
It seems the bad outrule the good.
Us argueing and crieing is all that runs through my mind.
You hurt me like you said you never would.

The love I have for you is so strong,
Things happened, words were said,
I wonder why it went so wrong.
As I lay here in my bed,

I think about my new guy.
Why did you have to come back to me?
All you ever do is make me cry.
If you could only see how happy i am now,

Without you, I thought I would never be.
But here I am and all I can do is wonder how?
How can I go on knowing one day you may want me back?
And with my new life i would be waiting,
For those special days i now lack.

I fell so fast for you,
I loved you with all my heart.
I thought you loved me, too?
But now I sit alone and my heart's torn apart.

I moved on, now; I found someone new,
Not knowing how I would ever get over you.
You were my first and only love,
Maybe one day you will notice what was lost?
A perfect relationship, precious as a dove.
You took my heart, loveing you was a large cost.

We said we hated each other,
I told my friends it was the end.
Now, i see you often, I thought i was doing good?
Even though I never thought i would.

My feelings now seemed to have changed,
But I am to scared to love you again.
My whole life I would have to rearrange.
One day I am out, the next I am in?
Till this day i know my love for you,
Will always be here and true.

I've picked another template. Didn't do anything special except going up to jb with david on Sat to get the exhaust done, and had a starlet meetup @ tamp when we got back to sg @ 10pm. it's Uzi's bday btw. After that, both of us met up with james for recce for upcoming SPI events.. it all ended at 3+am, of course, i was sleeping in the car all e time when during recce.. i'm just dead after such a tiring day, and we met with a road block @ yishun on e way back.

Went for qingming with pa today, and that 2 temples are so bloody packed with humans. luckily, it started pouring after we're done with our stuff, just like last year. went back home to get my specs... i think my astig is getting worse, though they seemed fine to the optical store staff when i went for an eye test today. haven't been wearing this specs of mine since sec sch days, i guess that's why i feel kinda giddy if i'm wearing it for too long. i think i'll get used to it soon...

1 month to my bday and counting down... lOl~

Many have asked me to do something about my blog's layout.. Sorry guys, i'm busy and not a single design has entered my brain for a new layout... i'm so brain DEAD.

Anywayz, i went for my ortho appt last Thursday. Gotta extract 4 teeth in May. All my three appts are on Thursday.. May god bless me for fri's meeting in the future...

1 month plus to my bday.. gosh.. why am i so into my bday these few days...

Just got back from KL... supposed to be back yesterday, but David was like so ZzZZzz.. so we stayed a night @ Ancasa.. lOl~

Supposed to leave Sg on 2, 3am on Sat, but we couldn't wake up in time... in the end, we left the house around 8+am. =P The jam at Tuas checkpoint was so bad. We're stuck for about 2 1/2 hr, and the immigration closed D1 & D3. The inspection of the vehicles was so thorough, we even got our thumbprints scanned. The road after the checkpoint was so freaking clear... lOl~

We stopped at Ayer Keroh to have lunch @ A&W, but they're out of curly fries (sianzz...), and we got our butt in kfc instead. Got ourselves at KL, dropped by Danny's to pass him the cheque, then drived to UR for the bars & chat with Elson....

Basically, calvin (Elson's younger bro), whom we've been liasing with all these years for the UR bars, embezzled the co's fund. Basically, there was an incident when the ordered bars that worth a thousand plus, were not sent to Sg for 3 full weeks, and some of our clients even wanted to stop the order. We called Calvin and first he said the bars were not wrapped properly and so they need to re-wrap according to the courier service co. 2nd time was there was a pc problem at the courier service co. so they couldn't print out the invoice. 3d time was something else. The problem was the cash for the goods were already transferred to Calvin, and he spent all that money instead! Our UK forum friend, Toby, also ordered some stuff from UR through Calvin, and Calvin used that money instead of handing it to the UR co. So Elson found out about the ordered goods one day when looking through his emails and he could only deliver the goods to us foc. In total, calvin actually embazzled around RM 70k from the co. which is about SGD35k!! omfg~
Calvin's now in China with his china gf (he broke up with his msia gf last year whom i think he 2-timed with someone else behind her)....

Anyway, we got xiao hong a set of fender bars. it was around 6+pm already. We drove back to Danny's and parked our car there. Danny closed his workshop and we had a coffee chat with his friends. One of his friends alighted us at Coliseum Cafe as he stayed in that area. It was already 9.30 or 9.45pm already. Luckily we were their last order (Sweat~!!). David and i both ordered our usual medium-rare chateaubriand and virgin colada, but he couldn't get his usual oxtail soup since they're out of it. Captain Ho is still working there. He has really dedicate his whole life to Coliseum cafe since he started work at the age of 18, and he's over his 70s already. He reminded us of David's late grandpa who was about the same body size as captain Ho. Anyway, their chateaubriand is still as yummy as before even though we were so famished. I really missed it since my last visit.

it was already 11+pm when we checked in to Ancasa after getting the watches for Mila, our tops, my bottom, my sanitary pads and undies... my bottom were all stained with my menses, luckily i'm wearing skort. damn fucking hate it having menses when i'm not in Sg. Argh~

We got our return trip bus tickets for 3pm today... reached lavender mrt stn and looked for James since he's working at transtar. We talked about SPI events and regarding kelvin back to EA. Seems like some others are also unhappy regarding this matter. Well, we'll see about his attitude in our next outing...

To Human Defect: Thanks for your comment But i guess you didn't get my point from my previous posting, which is totally alright with me, since you don't have to. :)

Anyway, a couple of days more to the ending of CNY. So busy till i'm having lack of sleep.. ZzZzZz~~~~~
Let's recall... i was out for the whole day for day 1.... as usual~
day 2 was at home in the day, Teban Gardens in the evening, and tamp. at night.
day 3 was @ Teck Whye since evening till late night for BJ21 & dinner, not forgetting my all-time fav: black pepper spare ribs made by my greatest 2nd granduncle himself. oh, by the way, i got the recipe for it... yAy!! will try it myself soon... =D
my 4th day was lunch with pa, dad, mom & bro @ a hk cafe beside Katong Shopping Mall.. I guess i still prefer the hk cafe @ East Coast Rd.. heehehee~ Went Parkway with Sam after lunch, he got his stuff and went off first since he's going out later. As usual, went into OP shop and bought several items for myself. Went back to mom's house, off again with pa to Aunt Saw Hong's house for steamboat. Pa helped to "consult" the dvd recorder, etc... as usual, again...

Started work on Monday.. Fri's meeting was postponed to 18 Jan 08. Spent my Valentine's Day alone... *sOb*

2 mths plus to my bday.. Sadly, it falls on a Tuesday.. SiaNzZzZz....