yoyo~ 2nd posting for today..hee~
anyway, i've changed my layout.... hope it's better....
i'm finally done with it...ain't changing the bg though...hee~
pls give some comments...thank u.......

OMG~ finally can blog le... my pc really got prob..siao siao liao...srupid com...always treat me so bad...
well, i've added some new links...pls check 'em out...
alot of things happened these days.... not gonna say them out cuz no use le...over liao... anyway, i've got a good news.. i've got a new mommi..angelina...she's frm m'sia... know her thru SPI.. LOL~
tmr is eng prelim.... sian 1/2...people de prelim over le...our sch de still haven't...long hor?? cannot blame also lo...my sch is always the "special one"..... -__-"""
fen-jie now in beijing...also donno come back liao ma...miss her liao sia...so long never see her le.... also long long time never saw von-jie le..... ah-ma ah-kong also never see since last yr....OMG~
i also nth to write liao...sigh~ if can, tmr write again ba.....
ja ne!!

The Greatest Pain in Life

The greatest pain in life
is not to die, but to be ignored.

To lose the person you love so
much to another who doesn't care at all.

To have someone you care so about so much throw a party...
and not tell you about it.

When your favorite person on earth
neglects to invite you to his graduation.

To have people think that you don't care.

The greatest pain in life,
is not to die,
but to be forgotten.

To be left in the dust after another's great achievement.

To never get a call from a friend,
just saying "hi".

When you show someone your innermost thoughts and they laugh in your face.

For friends to always be too busy to console you when you need someone to lift your spirits.

When it seems like the only person who cares about you,
is you.

Life is full of pain,
but does it ever get better?

Will people ever care about each other,
and make time for those who are in need?

Each of us has a part to play
in this great show we call life.

Each of us has a duty to mankind
to tell our friends we love them.

If you do not care about your friends
you will not be punished.

You will simply be ignored...
forgotten...
as you have done to others.

Remember Your Friends

She sits alone in her room,
Her hours only filled with gloom.
For she has lost hope in life,
And she is holding a butcher's knife.
She cries and hurts all inside.
If only she knew the love and pride.
She takes the knife and slits her wrist.
If only she could have missed.
She fell down and hit the floor,
Just as her parents walked through the door.
If only she could have thought
And talked of how they had fought,
But, now it was all too late
She was gone that very date.
All they knew of her fight
Was she had lost that very night.
Please remember to love your friends
Or else you may never be able to tie up lose ends.

*This is dedicated to everyone who knows what it is like to lose friends to suicide. Keep everyone else going.*

juz ended a conversation with my da...
sorry my dear, for making you having a sleepless night and a restless day...just because of what i said... i'm just, well, jealous... i'll never mention it again...i promise...
how i wish you were just right beside me...so i can give u a hug...siGh~

I LOVE YOU, MY DEAR!! HUGGIES n MUACKS!!!!


Without you? I'd be a soul without a purpose.
Without you? I'd be an emotion without a heart.

I'm a face without expression,
A heart with no beat.
Without you by my side,
I'm just a flame without the heat.

Without you? I'd be a dream without an impetus.
Without you? I'd be a thought without a mind.
I'm a picture without color,
A sky with no sun.
I need you here beside me,
Because you're my loving one.

Without you? I'd be a wave without an ocean.
Without you? I'd be a bird without wings.
I'm a song without sound,
A moon with no shine.
I want you here, darling,
To tell me you'll always be mine.

You promise that you'll love me forever;
I trust what you say is true;
Because if I'm to be an emotion of love,
The element I need is you.

juz got home from school...i'm so stressed up with my schoolwork..prelim's coming...the tension is worsening as days passed..YiKeS~!!!!!
yesterday's teachers' day...didn't go back to primary school as planned though...wanted to go back the day before but something cropped up...sad case...
left zhi xiong yesterday night with dada and john...see kuan called da when we were on the bus...siAnZz...they talked on the phone with J.Aloy..it's a conference call, you see...
both me and john was quite unhappy...he lent me his discman. i just don't feel like listening to what he said but still can hear abit though...siAn 1/2...i guess see kuan asked him why he don't need to accompany me instead of chatting on the phone..he just replied that i was listening to songs... well, if he wasn't busy chatting on the phone, i don't think i need a discman then..i sms-ed john which listening to the cd...siGh~
i returned john his stuff when he's about to alight...dada continued his conversation till when he said he'd call her back when he got home cuz he gotta hang up... *breathe twice* siGh~
he just slept throughout the whole journey to jurong 'cuz he's tired..i just sat there using my phone although i wasn't really paying attention to it anyway...
on our way back to yew tee, all i could say it's just a total silence journey...i didn't talk to him except for answering his questions..just don't feel like talking to him, that's all..he just, well, slept. *breathe once*
da wanted to buy a pair of slippers when we arrived at yew tee but the shop has already closed, thus, he sent me home...
Da told me that see kuan likes him but too bad he's already got a stead...he told her that he just treat her as a lil' sis..thus, see kuan just treat him as a big brother...siGh~ as if i don't know that she likes him...called it sixth sense if you want...
well, which girl do not want to be with the guy she likes? Girls don't wish to be just "a lil' sis" to him..it's common sense for girls, and maybe some guys..isn't it??
i thought for sometime and said this to him,"why don't i just let u and see kuan be together?" his reaction was like, ya know, eyes widened?? kinda shocked, i guess...

him: why?
me: well, since she likes you, why not?
him: what about you?
me: well, since you guys will be happy together, i'm willing to leave.
him: what makes you think that i'll be happy?
i just shrugged and said,"no idea."

we arrived at my block...he watched me as i stepped into the lift and went up...he called a few minutes after, saying he's on his way home noe and he misses me...also said that he'd call me when he got home...and ended with,'dear, i love you." well, i don't feel anything when i listened to it...don't ask me why..just wasn't..ya know, touched, that's all...
i called someone after bathing..just finding someone to talk to..kinda help me to feel a lil' better...*breathe once*
i guess i'm really in love now..but i still be sure of it...'cuz my previous steads didn't really mix around with alot of girls, you see...i guess it's only towards see kuan that i'll only fell this way...i ain't like that when zi hui is around or mentioned...
now that i agree that love is selfish, but if da and see kuan will be happy together, then i guess i'll just leave..no, i won't fight for it...i'll just leave quietly...you can call me foolish or crazy, whatever you want..but i'd rather choose to be the unhappy one than to let others to be unhappy. i'd rather be the one recieving all the tortures than letting others to be tortured.

i'm sick..again~!!!! *cough cough* cough for weeks liao but still not okay yet..... went to see family doctor but still like that...then yesterday went to visit other clinic lo...... alot of people thought i 'heaty' but actually is not lo.... actually is cold cough... *dotx* no wonder so long still haven't recover....my that family doctor also never say what cannot drink of eat....then i tought is heaty..then i took strepsils and liang teh...kns...... now then i know actually all these cannot take.... siGh~ can only drink plain warm water.... then got alot of things cannot consume....
yeeling ar...i'm out of singlehood le...*hee hee* i know many will say that i just broke up with lyon then so fast find a new one like very what lo..... but this kind of thing is really hard to say..... no feeling is no feeling liao lo......
i know da da for less than one month only.....kinda afraid that it's only a short-term liking.... but i feel like we've been together for a long time le.... also donno what i like him abt....but i guess that's why ba....i'm really happy when i'm with him lo...hee~ so paiseh... :P
da da, don't be so stress up ok?? mUaCkZ~

P.S.: does anyone know where can i find this background music?? i wanna buy the cd~!!!!!!

seems like i haven't blog for a while already...well, alot of things happened, actually...both good and bad.... the good thing is, i've know alot of new friends..they're nice, really....the bad thing is, i back to yaya singlehood (taken from yaya sisterhood) again. there are really too much problems...furthermore, dad and mom don't like him, and i don't think his mom likes me anyway even though she doesn't know about us.
please don't ask me what really happen...i just won't say..i'll tell one day if i want to, otherwise, i guess i'm bringing it with me till my very last breath. for those who were with me yesterday, thank you, guys...i'll be fine, really...don't have to worry for me, okie??

I HATE MY NOSE!!!!!!!!! ARGH~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
STOOOPID RHINITIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HATE YOU SO VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you said it hurts to know that i can't turn up for an appointment that is arranged before time. i do admit it's my fault for not turning up for the concert, but i'm sick. i sms-ed u abt it..but the reply i got back was actually about the ticket. u said it's kinda waste. you ain't happy with wasting a ticket, fine. i'll pay u back 12 bucks. is that what u want?
whenever u're sick, i'm worried sick...afraid that you'll be admitted to hospital again. but when i'm sick, are u even there to give your concern? all you care abt is only if i can meet up with you or not, nothing else...you don't give a damn abt my health condition. i know you always expect me to return your sms right away. i ain't as free as u but i'll always try to reply as soon as i could. i've got alot of things to do, not like u. study n tkd is all you have to do and maybe worried about. you always complained abt u're tired abt your life. but no matter what happens, u still have your parents and brother to help u through although u keep complaining to me abt how ridiculous they are. i'm different. i'm got to study n do household chores, as well as jujitsu, and also have to keep thinking of my dad's safety during his work. i'm also sick and tired of all these things that i've gone through. i can jolly well juz go n die and leave everything back. but unlike you, i've only got my dad. what will happen to him if i gone? i will always place my dad and sam's family before u cuz u will never know how dear they meant to me. i'll always try to spend more time with them whenever i can. you can't expect me to go out with you whenever it's holiday. you're busy, so am i. now who's more tired? you or i?
you said it hurts to know that i seldom or never tell you all of my problems and you hate to find it out yourself. firstly, waht problems do you want me to tell u abt? secondly, so what if i told u abt them? you can't do anything abt it. i can't expect you to be right in front of me right away whenever i encountered problems. i ain't that crazy. b4 we started our relationship, it's not as if i didn't tell you that i tend to keep things to myself. i've also told you b4 that it's hard for me to open up, cuz i've been like this longer than i remember. you said you'd give me time, no matter how long. i've already told u that it's nearly impossible. and now, u expect me to tell you everything? i apologise for that can't be done in a minute.
i can't always be there for u and i don't expect u to be there for me always. i know u really want to spend more time with me. it's not as if i don't wan to spend time with u. pls spare a thought for me.
I won't be the one and only in your heart.
I will be replaced.
if you ain't happy abt our current relationship, i'll be willing to let u go. yes, i'll be sad, i'll cry, but i'll also be glad to set u free.

juz came home my grandaunt's house....although it's like 17 minutes over..but still HappY BIRtHdAy, SinGaPoRe~ n also HaPPy 4th AnnIvErSaRy to SPI!!! WOHoHoHO!!!!!!
today went out with my fren...went to coffee bean..juz laze around and discuss some stuff...then later went to grandaunt's house for dinner.....saw the parade...nice...very nice...oh my oh my...i miss the parade last yr....hee~ it was so much fun...and that indian guy in the parade juz now...it looks like the 'outstanding' sir frm last yr....hmmmz..i wonder if it's really him.....
anyway, today went to relative's house..makan...nice leh... the soup..so long never drink le....grandmother passed away then maid cook de is ok ok de lo...now nobody cook...so sad... *sOb SoB* but at least still got to drink sometime...lotus soup, i wonderif that's how you said in english?? lian ou tang....YuMMy~!!!!!
i'm still bloated now...will not really la, but...whatever......scarli tmr also cannot eat breakfast...lOl~ that'll be crazy...but it does happen sometimes.....
i guess that's all for today?? ciAoz~!!