Tuesday, September 17, 2013

婚姻是双方面的,不能只靠一个人。

原來,老婆脾氣越壞,丈夫就會越衰, 老婆越溫柔如水,丈夫就會越旺,大家慎記哦!

淨空法師談"旺夫"

自古以來只有“旺夫”一詞,沒有“旺婦”一詞,可見只有女人才能旺男人,而男人無法旺女人。

什麼原因呢?面相學家根據面相找到旺夫相的女人,比如圓潤,有光澤,柔和等等,都不是根本的原因,也做不到百分百的準確。

現在,我從佛法的角度跟大家談談根本的原因。

傳統文化認為,女人是水做的,而水為財,是故,女人天生就是財命。

這裡的女人,是指所有的女人,而不是個別的女人。

而男人的財,只是掩藏在五行水中,這個水,只是一小部分而已。

所以,對於男人來講,有一句話叫“成家立業”。
只有成家了,才能立業,所以,男人需要一個女人來旺自己才可以立業。

一個成功的男人背後總有一個為之奉獻的女人。

我們來看看水的特質是什麼:

1、上善若水。
水往低處流,如水的女人在家庭關係中,一定肯就下,托起滿家。
自以為婦女能頂半邊天的女強人,失去了水的本分,跟男人爭天,讓男人沒了空間,肯定克夫。
一般很容易離婚,即使有錢也享受不了。

2、抽刀斷水水更流。
水是至柔的,水流經過的地方,遇到障礙,會自動拐彎,不會硬碰硬,水就永遠不會受到傷害。
面對男人大發雷霆的時候,如水的女人善於以柔克剛,因為只有柔能克剛,剛不能克柔。

所以,如水的女人撒撒嬌,發發嗲,耍耍賴,男人就沒了脾氣。
所以如水的女人永遠是一家之主。

以剛性為主的女人喜歡跟男人對著幹,這個叫“雞蛋碰石頭”,而且遍體鱗傷的永遠是女人。

我曾經遇到一個硬碰硬的美女,她告訴我說,以前丈夫對自己百依百順,結婚後不久丈夫就有了外遇,我告訴她,百依百順,只能依你順你有限的次數,不能依你順你一輩子。
只有你做了真女人,男人才會對你全心全意一輩子。

3、水能滋潤。
萬物的成長不留痕跡,如水的女人,總能找到男人的好處,不動聲色的誇獎男人,讚美男人,口吐蓮花,讓男人感覺自己是個英雄,充滿了力量,下定決心一定要保護自己柔弱的妻子,如此兩個人的關係才能親密無間。
反之,女人經常挑男人的毛病,男人的心越來越涼,越來越沒信心,覺得自己是個笨蛋,覺得自己是個廢物,只能越來越走下坡路。

北京一個女人問我說,她丈夫找的小三,既沒有她漂亮,也沒有她學歷高,錢也賺的沒她多,她搞不懂自己的老公看上小三哪一點了?
我告訴她,你老公喜歡對方的溫柔體貼愛語,她啞口無言。

4、未婚的女孩子,在家庭,社會,在公司,如果真能做如水的女子,口吐蓮花,廣結善緣,遇到他人發脾氣,也能微笑面對,勇挑重擔,吃苦樂受,必定得上司的賞識,步步高升。

今年10月,我在南寧佛友會期間來了一對夫婦,男人經常打女人。
我定心一觀,就跟這個男人說,你的財運是一年60-100萬,只可惜,你現在一年只有15萬,而且都花掉了,現在是入不敷出。

男人睜大了眼睛問我:
師父,快給我說說原因吧。

我說:
很多時候,你在談生意的時候,覺得非常有戲可以談成,但到最後,卻總是事與願違,甚至最後的結果,讓你欲哭無淚,該拿的錢你拿不到。
你知道是什麼原因麼?

男人全身一震,兩眼放光,失聲對我說:
師父,求您開示。的確如您所說,我的境遇一直是這樣的。

這個時候,旁邊一大群人都做了同樣的動作,脖子伸的長長的,目不轉睛地盯著我,生怕自己錯失了每一個字。

我看了看他,開口說:
女人為水,水為財,你的妻子是你的家財,家財不安,外財莫入。

你想想,你是怎麼對待你妻子的,你的妻子心安麼?
你的妻子心不安,家財不安,外財怎麼敢進你的家呢?

男人看看自己的妻子,看看自己。我說,還不趕緊跟你妻子懺悔認錯?

男人一聽我的話,立馬跪下給自己的妻子磕了三個響頭,口說:
老婆,我錯了。
妻子看到丈夫給自己下跪,頓時委屈的哭了起來,這一哭,就哭了55分鐘。

我吩咐眾人,讓她哭,不要安慰,讓她把委屈哭出來。

旺夫的意義在於:
一個圓滿的家庭,需要女人做好自己的本分,也需要男人做好自己的本分。

10月底的北京佛友會又遇到一對夫婦一同前來,男人是事業有成型的,跟我討教如何進一步提升事業。

我定心一看,說:
你目前一年財運是800-1000萬,但很可惜,你只拿到了300萬,而且入不敷出。

男人的眼神像被什麼吸引了一般,急促問我。

2、妻子是水,水為財,家財不安,外財莫入。我說,要對你的妻子好一點,早點把外緣斷了。

3、女人為水,男人為剛,要有容乃大。
你有多大的肚量,就能盛多少財,你妻子不夠的,外財會來補充,所以,作男人的,不能斤斤計較,要懂得慈悲喜捨。

有人天天求財神,注定了自己是個窮人。
有人經常慈悲喜捨,那麼,在別人的眼裡,他就是財神,財神沒有錢,誰還能有錢呢!

男人立即表態,願意贊助20個失學兒童,並且,生意好了,會贊助更多的失學兒童。

談話中,他一直點頭,並告訴我說:的確,去年跟妻子關係融洽的時候,訂單都接不過來,後來,跟妻子關係不好以後,生意也不好了。
於是,我告訴他,怕老婆的家庭都很富裕,所謂怕,不是畏懼的意思,而是疼愛,珍惜,捨不得自己老婆受委屈。

請讀者反省,自己是否是個如水的女人,自己是否是一個怕自己的女人受委屈的男人。

如果是,那麼恭喜你,你一定富裕和樂美滿。

Sunday, June 30, 2013

感觸。。。

跟哥哥要了李玟的歌。在電話裡不停的播放,自己的眼眶也漸漸的濕了,自己卻不是非常清楚原因。。。只知道感觸好多好多,淚水也不停的一直流,最後真的哭了。。。
感覺卻好像隱藏了許久的傷感,再也藏不了了。。不由自主地哭了出來,心情也沒有多好一點。不過,我很感激,畢竟一整天都有人陪著。
我不知道,這一些所發生的事,是否是對我的考驗。。。總覺得這些事都是在考自己的定力,接二連三的都是一樣的情形。。。難道真的還有一段漫長的路程。。。?

Sunday, May 26, 2013

It has been...

It has been a couple of months from my last post. And yes, all is done... outstanding is just waiting for court order to finalise everything and his payment for part of my lawyer fees, then I will be officially free from all this bullshit.

But my life is changing for better... Switched my job in Feb with a much better pay, of course... *glee* Yes, even though it's a 2-yr contract instead of a full-time contract, but at least it's better than signing the same 2-yr contract with my previous company since it's the same job scope, same client. Basically, everything's the same except for my direct employer. Well, 風水輪流轉, 今日不知
明天事.

Had been wanting to get a wardrobe, and visited some shops last month to get prices, finally bought one last weekend. Can't wait for it to be delivered 2 weeks later. (^_^)

Am happy with my life now, and yes, it will be better.

Monday, March 04, 2013

明天。。。到了。。。

明天又多一天没完了的曰子。问题是,在拖延的不是我。。说真的,他憑什么?做错事还真有种的要这要那,什么东西呀!!!

若明天真要是不能达成一个協議,就得上正式的法院。我不是怕,而是觉得是浪費。。。。。

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Lunar New Year!!!

Happy Lunar New Year!!! It's the year of Snake~~~

Went visiting for 3 days and with only less than 4 hours of sleep each night... POWER~!!!! and lots of food made me feel so sinful... gosh~~ i'm really going to return to my veg diet, seriously...

2nd counselling session done with CFRC. No conclusion as well, i think a trial is really inevitable in my case... why can't he just give up... what's the point of fighting the case just for the sake of fighting? He's not even taking care of her anyway, relying on his parents all the time. What's the point...

Last thing which i hate for it to happen.. i'm falling ill... gosh~ blocked nose & dry cough... mood spoiler!!!

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Jan 2013

It's 2013!! Not a good year for me for 2012, I'm sure this year will be much better. ^_^

I just have no idea why he just don't wanna sign the paper!!! wasting time, seriously... I could have get my things done earlier if he just sign it instead fighting the case. He has absolutely no chance of winning but he just doesn't get it. Anyway, tomorrow will be the family session for child support issue.

Stopped my dance lessons for a while now... too busy with girl and my dad whose foot has yet to recover... I think he will still be on HL even after i start work in Feb...wahhahaa! =P

CNY is in Feb, but i don't have thy holiday season mood... >.< think i'm mood-less for holiday season. Nevertheless, shopping for girl's clothings & shoes were done though i still gotta get her a new pair of sandals as well (adding to shopping list for Feb).

Girl's having enrichment classes 4x/week = $200+ additional to her current school fees. At least it's during her class's time so it doesn't make any difference or changes to school schedule.She's been staying with us for months now, and the school principal even noticed that she's happier in school now compared when she was staying with my in-laws. And yes, i noticed her grandfather tries to peek at her when she's in school frequently. But i just don't get it, they don't even call me to ask how she is, when she will be staying over at their place. It has always been me calling in-laws asking if they want her to stay over at the weekends. Seriously??? I don't even know if they really care for her or something.... But anyway, I will never give her up to them, ever.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Christmas!! But...

Christmas is just 2 days away, but i'm enjoying 0 of it, thanks to my nose... what a holiday!! I want my sunshine back to cure my nosey-nose but it's all rainy here!!! blasphemy... Supposed to stayover at mom's place with  En but the plan is gonna get blown if our one-of-a-stupid-kind flu doesn't get lost...

2 months more to the last day of my vegetarian meals.... and coincidentally, it falls on Chinese New Year!! kekeke~Surprisingly, i'm able to stick to it and the portion of each meal decreases too. I suppose i'm gonna stick to it even after CNY excluding fish esp. salmon sashimi!!! =D gosh, i miss salmon sooooo muchhhh!!!! the first thing I'm gonna splurge on is salmon  after completing my vegetarian schedule... wahahhaahah!!!

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Pray pray...

Kelvin gg is still in NUH... all of us are so worried about him... transferred from AH's ICU to NUH's HDU... just transferred to normal ward today... hais... helping him to 祈福 by being vegetarian for 3 months. 我相信我能办得到. That's all i can do for him anyway. Fortunately, yt area has a damn nice vegetarian stall... ^_^ don't mind eating...

dad's leg is still in a cast.. medical rv in dec... i dont really like these 2 months... BUT!! am still gonna be optimistic!! ^_^

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Impromptu!!!

A very impromptu decision i made today... My long locks are long gone, replaced by short, very shor hair now!! Shiok, and more shiok!! LOL~ The last time i had short hair was 10 years ago, and my current hair is even shorter than that though part of it is longer since the style is not even intentionally. God, i love LOVE my hair now!! Super thankful for the impromtu-ness!! haha!!!! webcam w Adel earlier, she was shocked!! didn't expect my hair to be this short when i told her i chopped my locks off.... =P Am gonna wait for my hair to grow few inches longer, and another change of hairstyle for new year!! ^_^

Oh, i LOVE Hairlistic Team, w Nic as my hairstylist... all the way!!! Big thankies to Lav who intro her hairstylist to me!! Muacks!!

Wednesday, October 03, 2012

大悲咒

藏语的音译:
 
南摩惹纳达拉雅雅,南摩阿里雅佳纳,
萨嘎拉贝勒佳纳,
尤哈拉佳雅,达他嘎达雅,
阿啦哈帝,桑雅桑布达雅,
纳摩萨噜哇,达他嘎提贝,阿啦哈达呗,
桑雅桑布提呗,南摩阿里雅阿哇噜格帝,
秀哇啦雅,布地萨埵哇雅,
玛哈萨埵哇雅,玛哈嘎噜尼加雅,
达地雅他嗡,达啦、达啦、
提力、提力、杜露、杜露、
易笛威、易笛、加列、加列、
不啦加列、不啦加列、
固苏美、固苏玛哇垒、易利、密利积地、作哈啦、玛巴、纳雅、梭哈

Tuesday, October 02, 2012

好... 就這樣...

我要的, 得到了.. 不過,只有一半... 給自己時間, 兩個星期後, 如果真的還是沒聲沒息, 敲門的時間了.

罪惡感, 對一些人來說還真是強烈. 可以因為罪惡感 (我覺得), 就能把正在逕行的事, 說不干就不干. 真不知道在搞什麼. 這樣做, 把其他人當成什麼了. 是否因為我們是女的, 就能把我們呼之而來喚之而去? 還真以為每個女人都有一樣的想法, 都無所謂?

Anyway, JX's gf went back to Kuching after coming to SG for his convocation and mid-autumn festival. She's nice, just kinda blur.. =X Should be dropping by again next mth end for JX gg's bday.